I Hope These Movies Are Never Made
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- DirectorJonathan EntwistleStarsJackie ChanJoshua JacksonMing-Na WenKung fu prodigy Li Fong is uprooted from his home in Beijing and forced to move to New York City. When a friend needs his help, Li enters a karate competition. Li's teacher Mr. Han enlists original Karate Kid Daniel LaRusso for help.
- DirectorWill GluckStarsQuvenzhané WallisCameron DiazJamie FoxxA foster kid who lives with her mean foster mom sees her life change when business tycoon and New York City mayoral candidate Will Stacks makes a thinly-veiled campaign move and takes her in.The Honeymooners, Karate Kid, Wild Wild West and now Annie. If I say I don't like it, I'd be called prejudice most likely which is silly. I wouldn't want a white person to play Shaft either.
Another Annie just isn't needed though, white redhead or no white redhead. - DirectorEricson CoreStarsEdgar RamírezLuke BraceyRay WinstoneA young FBI agent infiltrates an extraordinary team of extreme sports athletes he suspects of masterminding a string of unprecedented, sophisticated corporate heists.Let us remember the original as a film where the late Patrick Swayze was awesome as a bad dude for once. This just isn't needed, but hey neither was Total Recall.
- DirectorRupert SandersStarsBill SkarsgårdFKA twigsDanny HustonSoulmates Eric and Shelly are brutally murdered. Given a chance to save the love of his life, Eric must sacrifice himself and traverse the worlds of the living and the dead, seeking revenge.Brandon Lee was the Crow, sequels weren't needed and neither is a remake.
- StarsLisa KudrowKal-El TuckTadhg MurphyAn unlikely alliance forms between a band of thieves and Kevin, an 11-year-old history buff, as they embark on a perilous mission to save Kevin's family and the world.A twisted comedy that just will suck ass without the Terry Gilliam touch.
- DirectorNoble JonesWealthy New York investment banker, Patrick Bateman, lives a twisted secret double life. A remake of the 2000 film based on Bret Easton Ellis' 1991 novel.Why ? Now we're remaking 13 year old films already. Lets remake Being John Malkovich and make it Being Michael Bay when you're at it.
- DirectorWalter HillStarsMichael BeckJames RemarDorsey WrightA street gang known as the Warriors must fight its way from the Bronx to its home turf on Coney Island when its members are falsely accused of assassinating a respected gang leader.Remake
- DirectorTed KotcheffStarsAndrew McCarthyJonathan SilvermanCatherine Mary StewartTwo idiots try to pretend that their murdered employer is really alive, leading the hitman to attempt to track him down to finish him off.Remake, yeah drag around Adam Sandler' s dead body, tired of hearing his annoying voices for his characters.
- DirectorChad StahelskiStarsHenry CavillAn immortal Scottish swordsman faces off with other immortal warriors in order to obtain a coveted ability.
- DirectorJoe JohnstonStarsRick MoranisMatt FrewerMarcia StrassmanThe scientist father of a teenage girl and boy accidentally shrinks his and two other neighborhood teens to the size of insects. Now the teens must fight diminutive dangers as the father searches for them.Remake
- DirectorJaume Collet-SerraStarsLily JamesPierce BrosnanNell Tiger FreeA mountain guide and his daughter's alpine climbing business in the Italian Alps faces a tragic event, forcing them to confront and overcome adversity as dangerous foes emerge, unleashing chaos.Why ?
- DirectorJoe DanteStarsZach GalliganPhoebe CatesHoyt AxtonA young man inadvertently breaks three important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town.remake, *beep* no!
- DirectorSam Taylor-JohnsonStarsDakota JohnsonJamie DornanJennifer EhleLiterature student Anastasia Steele's life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey.
- DirectorJoseph KosinskiStarsTom CruiseJennifer ConnellyMiles TellerThe story involves Maverick confronting his past while training a group of younger Top Gun graduates, including the son of his deceased best friend, for a dangerous mission.If Ridley Scott does it as a tribute to his late brother, I'd be the first on line. Otherwise, it shouldn't be made.
