34 films from 2016, Part I: The Lows
2016 was a strange year. I counted only ten films as serious duds, but there were brickloads of films that were too boring to be called infuriating (ID4 2), many more that felt off-balance (THE ACCOUNTANT, BAD MOMS) and/or unfinished (GHOSTBUSTERS) or just too formulaic (MISS PEREGRINE, CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR [especially after WINTER SOLDIER!], WAR DOGS, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, THE MECHANIC, RESURRECTION).
CORRRRRECTION:
Obviously I had a very bad day when I saw ROGUE the first time.
It is much better than I thought in 2016.
Here are the nine films that were so bad they enraged me – with the worst movie of the year being named last.
CORRRRRECTION:
Obviously I had a very bad day when I saw ROGUE the first time.
It is much better than I thought in 2016.
Here are the nine films that were so bad they enraged me – with the worst movie of the year being named last.
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- DirectorGareth EdwardsStarsFelicity JonesDiego LunaAlan TudykIn a time of conflict, a group of unlikely heroes band together on a mission to steal the plans to the Death Star, the Empire's ultimate weapon of destruction.NO NO NO.
I got it wrong when I wrote this:
I’ve never been much of STAR WARS-guy, but this one nevertheless was the most disappointing movie of the year – a huge let-down after the unexpected heights of „SW7“. But Gareth Edwards is no J.J. Abrams. The GODZILLA-director has his hands so full with managing the action that there isn’t enough time to take a breath, release the tension, make a joke that’s worthy or have a little fun.
On top of that I found the message troublesome: Giving your life in a kamikaze-like mission while taking as many souls of the opposing party as you can, might seem like the opposite of the usual Hollywood-formula – but it is first and foremost the motto of those unwelcome terrorists that spoil our real lives. - DirectorBen WheatleyStarsTom HiddlestonJeremy IronsSienna MillerLife for the residents of a tower block begins to run out of control.No. 9
One of those artsy-fartsy works that I despise: All concept and style but no life and certainly no characters to sympathize with. You wouldn’t know whom to slap in the face first – but you have too much time thinking about just that. - DirectorThea SharrockStarsEmilia ClarkeSam ClaflinJanet McTeerA girl in a small town forms an unlikely bond with a recently-paralyzed man she's taking care of.No. 8
There’s nothing wrong with tragic love stories. But this one felt so much by the numbers that it turned lifeless damn fast. While Sam Claflin wasn’t to blame, I didn’t believe Emilia Clarke for a second. She felt misplaced pretty much the same way she did in last years’ dreadful TERMINATOR: GENISYS. - DirectorChristian DitterStarsDakota JohnsonRebel WilsonLeslie MannA group of young adults navigate love and relationships in New York City.No. 7
There’s nothing wrong with romantic comedies. SERENDIPITY ranks high among my all-time favorites, and LOVE, ROSIE (Sam Claflin, again!) is one of my guilty pleasures of this decade. But this clunker – put together by LOVE, ROSIE-director Christian Ditter – had so many unsympathetic characters and lame situations that I was turned off almost immediately. And it kept getting worse from there. By the way, I just cannot laugh about Rebel Wilson’s jokes anymore. - DirectorNicolas Winding RefnStarsElle FanningChristina HendricksKeanu ReevesAn aspiring model, Jesse, is new to Los Angeles. However, her beauty and youth, which generate intense fascination and jealousy within the fashion industry, may prove themselves sinister.No. 6
Nicolas Winding Refn’s missteps continue. This movie about the shallowness of the fashion industry takes itself way too seriously. And then it has nothing new to tell. Oh, wait, it’s a cannibal freak show out there on the catwalk. Stop the press! - DirectorAlex ProyasStarsBrenton ThwaitesNikolaj Coster-WaldauGerard ButlerMortal hero Bek teams with the god Horus in an alliance against Set, the merciless god of darkness, who has usurped Egypt's throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict.No. 5
Almost too bad to be placed on the list – but not campy enough to avoid it. Sometimes you ask yourself whether the people who greenlight films like this (or the remake of BEN HUR) really think something like this could work. - DirectorRobert SchwentkeStarsShailene WoodleyTheo JamesJeff DanielsAfter the earth-shattering revelations of Insurgent, Tris must escape with Four beyond the wall that encircles Chicago to finally discover the shocking truth of the world outside.No. 4
Even Shailene Woodley couldn’t save this dystopian junk food. Looks like the rest is gonna be played out on TV – but most probably without the leads. - DirectorAnna FoersterStarsKate BeckinsaleTheo JamesTobias MenziesVampire death dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her.No. 3
In Germany there was a lot of fuss about the fact that this installment was directed by a (German) woman. But what I found more interesting was that you couldn’t see much and that it was no fun at all. Back in 2003, „Underworld“ was a small revelation, a bloody sexy franchise. None of that has survived. It tells a lot when even Kate Beckinsale can’t sex up a film anymore. - DirectorDavid AyerStarsWill SmithJared LetoMargot RobbieA secret government agency recruits some of the most dangerous incarcerated super-villains to form a defensive task force. Their first mission: save the world from the apocalypse.No. 2
Shoulda been a fun picture. What could go wrong with all the colorful characters, great actors AND Margot Robbie? Shamefully: a lot! Only minutes in I kept asking myself: How can they shift perspectives that amateurishly? And why do they pile up the action so joylessly? I admired David Ayer’s harsh style in FURY, but I doubt that his approach to SUICIDE SQUAD was the right one. What a wasted opportunity! - DirectorZack SnyderStarsBen AffleckHenry CavillAmy AdamsBatman is manipulated by Lex Luthor to fear Superman. Superman´s existence is meanwhile dividing the world and he is framed for murder during an international crisis. The heroes clash and force the neutral Wonder Woman to reemerge.No. 1
Why so serious? Everything that went awry in SUICIDE SQUAD applies to BvS as well – but exponentially! There’s not an iota of economy, control or sense of being in this bombastic nothing of a movie. It’s sheer chaos – but not the chaos of Tim Burton’s grand BATMAN RETURNS (1992). The chaos of this bland feature is unclean.
Is the Zack Snyder of BvS really the Zack Snyder of DAWN OF THE DEAD? What has happened since then? 300 tested my faith, WATCHMEN already went overboard (but in an interesting way), SUCKER PUNCH sucked big time but not nearly as much as MAN OF STEEL. Now not every negative comment might be justified (especially when it comes to the fanbase of DC Comics or Marvel) – but why didn’t Snyder learn ANYTHING from his mistakes? Why does he take everything so seriously - except criticism?
Casting, by the way, didn’t help much: Jesse Eisenberg fell back to using all his tiresome tics, Amy Adams didn’t get to do much, Henry Cavill hasn’t gotten better since MAN OF STEEL, and Ben Affleck made you wish Val Kilmer would turn up under the mask.
As a single failure BATMAN V SUPERMAN would be best fast forgotten – but this is supposed to be a franchise builder, so these characters might haunt us the next years!
