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It’s time to celebrate the Irwin Allen disaster epics for what they are — huge, indigestible spectacles that first seem funny and then congeal into a cinematic badness that words cannot describe. This sprawling ordeal tortures good actors and shatters every limit of audience patience. I alone have survived to tell thee. Is a fair review even possible?

The Swarm

Blu-ray

Warner Archive Collection

1978 / Color / 2:40 widescreen / 156 116 min. /Extended Edition / Street Date September 25, 2018 / available through the WBshop / 21.99

Starring: Michael Caine, Katharine Ross, Richard Widmark, Richard Chamberlain, Olivia de Havilland, Ben Johnson, Lee Grant, José Ferrer, Patty Duke, Slim Pickens, Bradford Dillman, Fred MacMurray, Henry Fonda, Cameron Mitchell, Christian Juttner, Alejandro Rey.

Cinematography: Fred J. Koenekamp

Film Editor: Harold F. Kress

Visual Effects: L.B. Abbott

Original Music: Jerry Goldsmith

Written by Stirling Silliphant, from the novel by Arthur Herzog

Produced and Directed by Irwin Allen

“I never dreamed that it would...

Charlie Bronson cashed in big with this lightweight action thriller co-starring Jill Ireland and Robert Duvall. Did Duvall get involved because the original concept was a serious look at political scandals between big business, the CIA and Chile? The clues from the real source story are still there.

Breakout

Region B + A Blu-ray

Koch Media / Explosive Media (De)

1975 / Color / 1:85 widescreen / 96 min. / Street Date January 17, 2017 / Der Mann ohne Nerven / Available from Amazon.de Eur 15,99

Starring: Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, Robert Duvall, Randy Quaid, Sheree North, John Huston, Jorge Moreno, Paul Mantee, Emilio Fernandez, Alan Vint, Roy Jenson, John Huston.

Cinematography: Lucien Ballard

Editor: Bud Isaacs

Original Music: Jerry Goldsmith

Written by: Howard B. Kreitsek, Marc Norman, Elliott Baker suggested by the book Ten Second Jailbreak by Warren Hinckle, William Turner, Eliot Asinof.

Produced by: Robert Chartoff, Irwin Winkler

Directed by: Tom Gries

Charles Bronson seems to have been an unhappy...

No, this title doesn’t refer to being the last one to arrive in music class and getting stuck with the lamest of instruments to play. Satan’s Triangle (1975) is a creepy, seafaring TV tale of supernatural mystery with an ending that absolutely kills. You may think the title tells all, and the journey can’t quite supplant the destination, but oh boy, what a destination. You’re going to need your sea legs for this finale.

For those not familiar with The Bermuda Triangle, aka The Devil’s Triangle, it is an area of water loosely configured between Bermuda, Puerto Rico, and Florida that was privy to many disappearances – boats, planes, and people. And back in the ‘70s, long before the internet, the only information to go on about this and other phenomena (Hey Bigfoot!) was provided by speculative quasidocumentaries, scientific journals dispelling the myths, and TV fodder such as Satan’s Triangle.

Michael Caine young. Michael Caine movies: From Irwin Allen bombs to Woody Allen classic It's hard to believe that Michael Caine has been around making movies for nearly six decades. No wonder he's had time to appear – in roles big and small and tiny – in more than 120 films, ranging from unwatchable stuff like the Sylvester Stallone soccer flick Victory and Michael Ritchie's adventure flick The Island to Brian G. Hutton's X, Y and Zee, Joseph L. Mankiewicz's Sleuth (a duel of wits and acting styles with Laurence Olivier), and Alfonso Cuarón's Children of Men. (See TCM's Michael Caine movie schedule further below.) Throughout his long, long career, Caine has played heroes and villains and everything in between. Sometimes, in his worst vehicles, he has floundered along with everybody else. At other times, he was the best element in otherwise disappointing fare, e.g., Philip Kaufman's Quills.