Quotes

A lot of people walk out of my show. If I've got 250-300 people in the audience, 20 will walk out. I average about 20 walkouts, which is good. Because everybody else stays, and I love that. That's what comedy is. Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.

I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have 90% hate me.

[on why he did not return to The Office (2005)] It was a six-line character. I just couldn't do it.

[on if he ever considered changing his name] Hell, no. That name made me a man.

Have your opinion, don't let your opinion have you.

That emptiness of "I made it!" What's it? You know what I'm saying? So I just do it because when a guy says to me "Dude... Man, you changed my life," that feels good. If a dude says "You changed my life" or a woman says "You changed my life," for some goofy shit you did... you know, that means something. That's "it". I want to change lives but not be profound about it.