Cooking Westerns Style

Adam : Smells good enough to eat. Milly : Tastes good too, so they tell me. Adam : Got any ketchup handy? Milly : My stew can stand on its own feet.

Wil Andersen: Can't be that hungry. They're showin' off.

Will Andersen: Can you cook? Jebediah Nightlinger: Apple pie. Green apples sliced thin. Lard, flour, salt, water to bind. Sugar, cinnamon, a dab of butter. Three slashes on the crust, one for steam and two because your momma did it that way. [He notices Mrs Anderson.] Good afternoon to you, lady. Am I correct? Annie Anderson: Why, yes, indeed.

Rooster Cogburn : [cocks his gun] Mr. Rat... I have a writ here says you're to stop eating Chen Lee's cornmeal forthwith. Now it's a rat writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of the same. See? Doesn't pay any attention to me. [He shoots the rat.]

[LaBoeuf sits down for supper at the Monarch Boarding House] Monarch boarder: Watch out for the chicken and dumplings. They'll hurt your eyes. LaBoeuf: How's that? Monarch boarder: They'll hurt your eyes lookin' for the chicken.

The Campfire Scene [The cowboys are sitting around the campfire eating beans and a peice of bread. Several burps and farts can be heard. Mr. Taggart comes out of his tent and sniffs the air, and has a disgusted face. He takes off his cowboy hat, and starts to fan the air.] Taggart: God Damn! Jesus. Cowboy: How about some more beans, Mister Taggart? Taggart: I say you guys have had enough.

O’Reilly: How is the food? Harry: Great O’Reilly: Chicken Enchiladas, Carne Asada, and Spanish Rice. Looks pretty good. Harry: Yeah, These people really know how to cook. Dig-in! There’s tons of it. O’Reilly: You know what these people, the villagers, have been eating since we got here? Tortillas and a few beans. That’s all. [Everyone stops eating.]

Will Andersen: Slap some bacon on a biscuit and let's go! We're burnin' daylight!

Cookie: You ain't gonna get any nouveau, amandine, thin crust, bottled water, sauteed city food. Food's brown, hot, and plenty of it.

Phil Berquist : [At Curly's funeral] The man ate bacon at every meal... you... you can't do that!

Old Lodge Skins: Let's go back to the teepee and eat, my son. My new snake wife cooks dog very well.

(Not exactly a western movie but Cookie is a western style character in a sci-fi movie. He does ride in a western-style chuck wagon) Cookie: I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whisky and lard.

Jack Crabb: I was an honored guest, so they gave me a special treat: boiled dog. Now I will admit, dog is greasy, but you'd be surprised how downright delicate the flavor is - especially when you're starving.

Plainview : Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy. Drained dry. I'm so sorry. Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? Watch it. Now, my straw reaches acroooooooss the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I... drink... your... milkshake!

Butch Cassidy : [cutting a steak] The Specialty of the House and it's still movin'!

[As Sheikh Riyadh welcomes Frank Hopkins into his tent, he offers Hopkins some Arabian coffee and says] Sheikh Riyadh: Most foreigners find our coffee to be too potent. Too ... [The Shelkh is surprised to see Hopkins drinking the cup of coffee down in one gulp.] Hopkins: Back home we toss a horseshoe into the pot. Stands up straight, coffee’s ready.

Major Marquis Warren : [to Joe Gage, Bob and Oswaldo] It's the stew that's got me thinking. [to Bob] Now how long did you say Minnie's been gone, a week? Bob : Si. Major Marquis Warren : You see, my mama used to make stew and it always tasted the same, no matter to me. There was another fella on the plantation, Uncle Charley, he made stew, too. And like my mama, I ate his stew from the time I was a whipper 'till I was a full-grown man. And no matter to me, it always tasted like Uncle Charley's stew. [pause] Now I ain't had Minnie's stew in like six months, so I ain't no expert...[Warren points towards the pot of stew] But that damn sure is Minnie's stew. So if Minnie is on the northside just visiting her mama for a week, how'd she make the stew this morning?

Dusty Bottoms : Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?

John McCabe: Well, you'll have to forgive me, my kitchen ain't in operation yet, but I could take you up to the restaurant up there if you're hungry enough. Constance Miller: I'm hungry enough I could eat a bloody horse. John McCabe: Well, at Sheehan's place you probably will. Constance Miller: Ah, the frontier wit, I see.

Rev. Wainscoat : Do not drink wine or strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, least ye shall die. Look not though upon the wine when it is red, and when it bringeth his color in the cup, when it moveth itself aright at the last, it biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder. Now folks, that's from the Good Book, but in this here town it's five cents a glass. Five cents a glass, now does anyone think that that is a price of a drink?

Jody: [to Minnie] Judy said something about the best coffee in the world? Oswaldo Mobray: [smiles] Yes, I do believe Judy did say something about the best coffee in the world! Minnie Mink: [laughs] Well, I don't know 'bout all that. But I'll tell ya what it is: it's hot and it's strong and it's good! And in this snow it sure enough warms your ass up!

[From The Box social scene where baskets of food are being auctioned off for charity to raise funds to build a new schoolhouse.] Aunt Eller : Six bits ain’t enough for a lunch like Annie can make. Let’s hear a dollar [Aunt Eller points to a cowboy in the crowd.] How about you? You won her last year. Cowboy: Hey Annie, you still got the same sweet potato pie like last year? Ado Annie: You bet! Aunt Eller: Same old sweet potato pie. What do you say? Cowboy: I say it gimme a three-day belly ache.

[As Capt. “Big” Jake Cutter leads Paul Regret to a mule and handcuff him to the saddle. And Regret says as he mounts a the mule] Paul Regret: How we gonna eat? Capt. Jake Cutter: [as he hands one rein of the mule to Regret and he mounts his own horse] You ever been out in the fresh air — a side of bacon, beans, coffee pot, and a frying pan? All the comforts of home. Paul Regret: Yeah, all the comforts of home.

Idabelle (Marietta), a maid, comes in on Glennister (John Wayne) (not pictured here) still wearing blackface to disguise himself while breaking a lawyer friend out of jail. Also, earlier in the film, Idabelle complained that there was no African Americans in that Alaskan town. Idabelle : Colored boy! Where'd y'all come from? Glennister : [in blackface] How's y'all sweet thing. I figured it was about time for us to get acquainted! Idabelle : Is that so? Well, if y'alls think I'm the common kind that messes around with anything that comes along. I says if you thinks I'm that kind of a person, I'll pour y'all a cup of coffee. [Glennister takes off his hat] Idabelle : Here, now, wait a minute! Y'all ain't no colored boy! You's washable. Why, it's Mr. Glennister! Watch you doin' runnin' 'round here raisin' up a lady's hopes like that for? Wait'll Miss Cherry sees you! Glennister : Hold on a minute, Idabelle. Let's get rid of this Alabama tan first and you better wash this shirt. Idabelle : But, Mr. Glennister, you's more handsome now than yous ever been before. Glennister : And Miss Cherry might feel the same way and then I'd have to spend the rest of my life in a smokehouse. Now, go on and get me some soap and water.