Megalodon

I gave this a 1 star because I assume most people probably watch it like they watch most movies and that's hoping to be immersed in a great story. If that is your purpose you should run fast and run far from this atrocity. If you watched it for the reason I did, which is to say, knowing it would be terrible and wondering just how terrible it could be then it's a 12/10. The acting was some of the worst I've ever seen and the script was 6th-Grade caliber which helped accentuate the lack of acting skills. I couldn't help but wonder if the "actors/actresses" realized how awful this was and figured **** it, it's a paycheck, or if they thought it turned out well. One reviewer got into intricacies of military dress and rank insignia and such and I was amazed he felt the need to go that deep for something wrong. However, I do feel it warranted to note this was the worst portrayal of any branch of our armed forces that I recall ever personally witnessing. North Korea could not have dreamed of a better anti-American Navy propaganda film. This was so bad that it's borderline slanderous to every person who does or ever has served in the U.S. Navy. It would have been more appropriate to personally kick each and every one of them in the junk than to paint their Navy like this. Now... Back to the generalities of this tragic waste of resources. The guns they used were not even bad replicas, instead, they clearly were purchased by an uninterested intern who went to the nearest toy store for them. They attempted some military lingo and failed spectacularly. The "Admiral" had some sort of bedazzled eagle disaster on his bdu cover... Yeah I'll leave that all alone. The dialogue was like a *****y porn film but cheesier. Then there was the ship itself when they showed it a couple times. I have yet to decide it it was also a very cheap and unrealistic toy or the worst CGI that I've ever had the fortune to witness. I could continue for days but it you want to see a cinematic atrocity this is the one for you.

I mistakenly watched this because I thought this was The Meg, dumb I know, but it is based on a similar premise. I should have realised when I noticed Michael Madsen was in it, he is usually only in bad movies and this was bad, with a capital B.

This is so bad that I would have turned it off after 10 minutes, but my partner was liking it, so, regretfully I had to endure the whole thing.

I love shark movies, but this one is not worth watching at all. Everything about it was just wrong.

Avoid like the plague.

The Admiral (Michael Madsen) looks like he hasn't had a haircut in 6 months! His uniform is sloppy as sh@t and what the hell is that device on his ball cap?! The Navy doesn't salute indoors! The Captain keeps getting in the Commander's ( who's wearing collar devices for the rank of Lieutenant lol!) face and talking to her like she's 15 years old! What a horrible movie, this would get a -1 if it were possible!

Acting dreadful. CGI dreadful. Storyline dreadful. Military accuracy dreadful. Strangely tho I laughed at most of the things that made this film bad and ended up enjoying it! Would I watch a sequel? Sure. Would I watch it again? Eh,,, no.

Megalodon is actually a tutorial on how to make a bad movie. First, stereotype all your characters, ALL of them. Second, missrepresent everything, from military stuff to marine biology to international relations and protocol, even submarine engineering is wrong (I mean, the hatch that connects two submarines closes like a cellar door). Third, add bad dialogue, unnecessary scenes, events happening out of nowhere, and last but not least, invest as little as possible in special effects for you main atraction. And voilà!