Bar Bangers Volume 1

Paul Chaplin, I was about to type the late Paul Chaplin but no such luck, contributed to the delinquency of a genre starting a decade ago with his series of maybe 500 lousy videos for his Bluebird label out of England. Apparently loaded with spare cash, he assembled all-star casts of British, Euro and even Chatsworth talent to serve as a platform for showing off his hairy legs, omnipresent dick and creepy smile (no wonder he cast himself most famously as a third-rate imitation of Heath Ledger's The Joker) in film after film.

This one practically takes the cake, because in an unholy trade for getting to see a who's who of Brit Porn's legendary femmes, we have to watch Chaplin hump all of them in seven dreary vignettes, moronically titled "Cowgirl", "Trolley Dollies" and "Backdoor" for example.

The one titled "Singapore Sling" has an uncredited appearance by Keiran Lee (and his dick) as a Rickshaw driver, to share the wealth for a while with Chaplin as they trade off humping the queen of all Brit Porn -guest star Cathy Barry late in her career and the fine Danish actress (in other circumstances, c.f., Paul Thomas's classic "My Wife's Best Friend") Denice K.

Breast in show is a toss-up, as that Dorcel favorite Laura Lion is wasted in her scene, while in "Cowgirl" a gal with even bigger fake tits Danielle Derek gets the ignominious pleasure of humping barkeep Chaplin one-on-one, dressed up like a cowgirl to complete the punning regarding the sexual position.