- Skeeters: If it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition. Jellyfish.
- Catherine: Especially since you can't rob the people anyway.
- Skeeters: Sure. How was that?
- Catherine: What you rob, you spend, and what you spend goes back to the people. So, where's the robbery? I read that in one of my father's books.
- Skeeters: That book should be in every home.
- Prologue: "This is the story of two men who met in a banana republic. One of them never did anything dishonest in his life except for one crazy minute. The other never did anything honest in his life except for one crazy minute. They both had to get out of the country."
- Skeeters: What do you think this is, Hicks Corners? Some people is too lazy to vote, that's all. They don't like this kind of weather. Some of 'em is sick in bed and can't vote. Maybe a couple of 'em croaked recently. That ain't no reason why Mayor Tillinghast should get cheated out of their support. All we're doing is getting out the vote.
- Dan McGinty: [to the Politician about getting paid for multiple voting] Never mind the applesauce. How do I get the bucks?
- The Boss: There's been too much rod play in this city, and it's unhealthy. It introduces a very bad element.
- The Boss: Don't you know a rib started all the trouble? Did you never hear of Samson and Delilah, or Sodom and Gomorrah?
- The Boss: Now listen, you...
- Dan McGinty: Take your finger out of my face.
- The Boss: [laughs] That guy kills me! He thinks he's *me*!