Astro-Zombies

Okay, this movie really sucks and not many people are gonna tell you any different. Even though I had some fun watching Astro Zombies, I know it is a worthless piece of sheet! It's just amazingly so horrible that I actually laughed at it and enjoyed doing so. I think that's what it was intended to do was to make people laugh at its stupidness.

If you are a John Carradine fan, then you must watch this film. Otherwise you more than likely will absolutely hate it and most people won't even make it 30 minutes into the movie. There is no need to get into plot, acting, or effects because there really isn't any to talk about! If you can take this movie for what it is, and that is to not be serious, and if you enjoy watching really campy films, then you may just possibly enjoy this little bundle of joy...but don't count on it!

Word on the street has it that "The Astro-Zombies" is one of the worst films of all time, right down there with "Plan 9...," "Robot Monster" and "The Beast of Yucca Flats," and for once, the word on the street is right. This movie really IS an incredible stinker in every conceivable department, and is a fairly bewildering experience to sit through. I for one could not figure out what was going on throughout much of the film, despite the inanity of the proceedings. Tura Satana, so bodaciously kickass in the late Russ Meyers' "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!," does add some sodden spark to the proceedings, but John Carradine is reduced to mumbling techno gibberish in his zombie lab, and Wendell Corey, in his last film role, probably wished that he was dead (he died right after filming was completed!). It's hard to believe that Wayne Rogers was involved as a producer and co-writer of this mess. Oh, Trapper, what were you thinking?!?! Horrendous acting, crappy editing and amateurish directing, combined with a mishmash of a plot involving skull-faced, radio-controlled, synthetic cadavers (or something like that...I'm really not too clear on this point), Mexican secret agents, the CIA and mutilation murders, all combine for 90 minutes of semipainful head shaking. The film is an absolute must for all connoisseurs of bad cinema, but all others really should be warned away. This movie really is BAAAAAAAAD!

Astro Zombies is one of the greatest movies of the 20th century! Ted V. Mikels is the godfather of schlock moviedom. Acting? Who needs it? Storyline? So what. Coherency? Nah! What we have in Astro Zombies is rogue scientist John Carradine as Dr. DeMarco, creating an army of astro men - half man half astro robot, tough, sexy spy Tura Santana (dig her cool wardrobe!) and her minions trying to shanghai the zombies for her evil country, and has been actor Wendell Corey and his FBI cronies trying to put a stop to it all. Why would they want to spoil all the fun? The astro zombie masks are really cool looking too. Fabulous nonsense from the man that brought us The Corpse Grinders, The Doll Squad, and the sequel Mark of the Astro Zombies. Hell, the Misfits even entitled a song after this flick and there is a European punk/metal? band of the same name. Tune in this film for fun and mayhem as the Astro Zombies rampage late 60's Los Angeles. Highly recommended!

Don't listen to those who claim this isn't a so-bad-it's-good film. It's terrifically lousy and laughably GREAT. From the dull, muted library music to the stock footage of LA Police cars to what has to be the first unnecessary nude-dancer scene (since then, a staple of cop/buddy movies), to the total lack of pacing in the editing, to fight scenes that look like Shriners hugging after an all-nighter, this is hoot city.

First, a compliment: The Astro-Zombies' masks are actually impressive, except they do not say "Astro-Zombies." They say "tricked-out motorbike helmets for the Village People."

You already know the plot, such as it is, from the other comments and no, it doesn't make a wit of sense, but the wife and I enjoyed every grueling minute. Personal favorites: the 40-weight oil on Franchot's hair and Carradine's endless muttering in a vain attempt to let the audience in on the plot. Wendell Corey, apparently stewed to the gills just to be able to mumble his dialog (he died from drink before the film was released). The Astro-Zombie running, running, running, holding a flashlight to his forehead (now that's ACTION!). The long, pointless shots of a car radio. Tura Santana's need to use a silencer in a gun fight (it's a revolver, which can't be silenced anyway, and the silencer is hardly real; more like a mashed dixie cup painted silver). Poor Rafael Campos, actually doing decent acting, making the other players even more wooden. And who leaves a scimitar lying around in a lab? Handy, yes, if you need to lop off someone's head, which as I recall from my own lab experience, is rather rare. But why ask questions about the incongruous? Astro-Zombi cannot answer them. It's an enigma. Or is that enema?

Those toy robots in the credits. What the? Hysterical. This is not to be rented. You must own it.

When I read that this was thought of by some reviewers as the worst film in history along with John Carradine headlining this act I figured why not give this thing a watch. I must say that no I don't think it's the worst film I have ever seen, but boy it is close. It starts with you guessed it a bad opening and when you thought the first 20 minutes were enough to sink this mess it just gets worse.

To give you an idea of the story over the last six months murders have been occurring that is when it sort of gets the feel of a hokey 50s sci-fi/horror cornball movie. Poor old John Carradine (who must have agreed to any script he was given) plays Dr. DeMarco who sadly just turns knobs and spouts out pages of dialogue. For it is he who is creating these Astro-Zombies.

Death scenes are poorly executed and we the viewer need Dr. DeMarco to injected some excitement into this movie. It sounds when reading the plot that it may not be too bad on the excitement scale, but it is just a boring movie really.

Based on screenplay by the director Ted V. Mikels and Wayne Rogers (who I remember as Trapper from the great TV show M.A.S.H.). I would suggest watching that show instead.