Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire

A strange little film that never made it at all. It deserved, perhaps, to develop something of a cult following, but this hasn't happened and the film will now, perhaps, slowly vanish from view forever.

Based on a strange and sometimes bewildering snooker match, this musical was never going to make it in the US. Why not? Well, they don't play much snooker in the States for a start but more to the point the film's two main characters are based on Ray Reardon and Jimmie White. These names are very familiar in the UK thanks to extensive snooker coverage on the television, but totally unknown in the USA.

I don't think Clarke was ever really at home directing this movie. It just isn't really his thing - a musical about snooker. He attempted to work in many more optical special effects but most of these were taken out in the final cut - a pity as some were so tongue in cheek that they might just have given the film a better chance of gaining a cult following. Clarke seemed, in the end, to err on the side of caution which is, perhaps, the failing of this film.

As a long time snooker fan I'd heard whispers about this film for years and it was only recently after months of searching that I finally managed to get hold of a copy. It's true that only Channel 4 in its early days could throw up something as bizarre as Billy the Kid and The Green Baize Vampire. By the same token snooker was the most popular sport in Britain in the mid-80's so making a film about it and its rivalries (players, managers, fans and everything that they stood for) was perhaps less of a risk then compared to how it might now seem.

As sports films go it's not bad but neither is it great. Perhaps the most unfortunate thing about the film is that the real snooker world was throwing up its own unparalleled sporting drama at the time, be it the black ball finish in the 1985 World Championship between Dennis Taylor and Steve Davis or, more to the point, the riveting rivalry between Davis and Alex Higgins who really were like chalk and cheese. One had a squeaky-clean image, the other was a lovable rogue with a penchant for vices and they both hated each other's guts. The rivalry between Maxwell and Billy or indeed the players they are based on (Dracula look-alike Ray Reardon and new kid on the block Jimmy White) could never evoke the same passions and even then Phil Daniels and Alun Armstrong, talented as they are, are slightly unconvincing here. Like most young upstarts Daniels (resembling Dexy's Kevin Rowland more than Jimmy White) reels off a few cocky taunts but he's far from the booze fuelled, authority-hating and downright rude figure that Higgins was. The whole thing feels like little more than your token pre-match jibing session and it's not helped by the fact that the humour is laboured as well. Granted, the idea of both players having completely different sets of followers and standing for completely different ideals and generations is well handled but even then a far better illustration of this would be to witness the audience reaction when Higgins and Davis crossed cues in front of 3,000 people in the 1985 Masters at the Wembley Conference Centre.

In saying all this I think it's important to appreciate how difficult an obscure project like this must have been to tackle and those who did so obviously weren't afraid of trying something different. Furthermore even though this film ends up being something of a failure it does nevertheless contain enough flashes of brilliance to convince you that there is a really unique talent behind it all and one that has done or probably could do a lot better. Despite being entirely studio bound and having a limited budget, the whole thing is shot with real class and looks wonderfully expensive. I love the dimly lit snooker halls, Maxwell's creepy pad really brings those fantasy images of Reardon to life, there are a few memorable quotes and the costume department do a good job here too. It's also worth noting that there is none of that dodgy editing, typical of sports movies, whereby a player hits a ball a mile away from the pocket and yet it miraculously manages to reach its intended target. As for the music, well, it's a little bit uninspired and at times feels like it's fleshing out a script lacking in ideas but the film does open with an excellent jaunty sax sore, evoking shades of Francis Monkman's score for The Long Good Friday, and Billy launches his comeback near the end to the strains of a catchy little piece called 'The Fame Game'. Alan Clarke was, of course, the man behind it all and while this is ultimately one of his less memorable moments it was nonetheless an interesting little venture/ indulgence.

And I thought I was alone too.

My mates laughed in my face when I mentioned a film called 'Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire'.

I showed them the IMDb listing and the laughing stopped but I've never been able to show them the film itself.

Indeed I've not seen the film for at least 15 years.

I remember it from my childhood. I taped it from Channel 4 in a top-loading VHS recorder. I used to tape loads of films.

I remember its unique quirky style - its odd songs and that character that undoubtedly was a nod to Ray Readon the classic 'vampire' snooker player.

Alas through the years it was taped over - no doubt with a bond movie and I've not seen it since.

I doubt it will appear on DVD as its not quite mass-market material. But what a lovely off-beat film. I'd love to see it again.

"Green stamps...." (Spooky)

Cheers Phil

I've got to be honest, but I've not seen this film for a good few years. However the first time I saw it ( on a new-ish Channel 4 and about the time it was very fashionable to be able to run a list of the top snooker players of the time as well as know the juicy bits of gossip behind each name) it bewildered and amazed. Bewildered in the sense that someone had made a Musical about Snooker and Amazed that it blimmin well worked so cool and despite not seeing it for so long I can't watch Jimmy White without seeing Phil Daniels. Although the whole film is a blast I particularly remember the closing sequences of the tournament play-off itself specially the music track for the whole sequence (having played and rewound that umpteen times)(Yeah I recorded it, just wish I could find that tape). I was intrigued to know how many of the community knew about this gem and pleased to find that those who do liked it. Pity it`s not avaliable (yet) on VHS or DVD. Here's hoping.

At it's time of making, Snooker Tournaments were big pullers for TV audiances in the UK so it is suprising that this film didn't make it to the cult status that it might have made if repeat showings had taken place. I made an off-air copy onto a Video-8 tape which still plays via a digital camcorder (thank you Mr Sony) though I'm not sure whether it picks up the PCM digital soundtrack. I generally like watching any roles that Phil Daniels played, this may be zany, but it is still good