J-Men Forever

To say this movie is a laugh-riot is an understatement. Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman of Firesign Theater fame re-cut many of the Saturday afternoon movie serials and government propaganda films from the 1940's and 50's such as Captain America (The Lone Star), Radar Men from the Moon (Rocket Jock - look for Leonard Nimoy), Flash Gordon, Shazzam (The Caped Madman), and Spy Smasher (Spy-Swatter) to name a few (plus a very short clip of John Wayne from Flying Tigers) and re-voiced, and re-scored it all creating a uniquely absurd chronicle of Good vs. Evil.

During the course the film Proctor and Bergman, shot in black and white in the J-Men's office, bridge the various scenes. The result is without hyperbole, one of the funniest films ever made. It is essentially, line after line, line within line, moment by moment non-stop hilarity. Often the comedy is in the writing but the real magic is how the lines being spoken or in some cases not spoken are meshed with what's on screen. The humor can be as sophmoric as a person being apparently executed by a firing squad and noisily farting as he collapses to sharp and witty as several obviously square, stone-faced individuals (in matching suits) nervously glancing at each other as they listen to a particularly lurid Rock n' Roll song.

This is the story: The Lightning Bug (all the bad guys from the movie serials-same guy, different costumes voiced wonderfully by Machine Gun Kelly) has decided to conquer the Earth from his hideout on the Moon thru the insidious power of Rock n' Roll music. Facing the Bug are the J-Men (all the good guys and gals from the movie serials plus Proctor and Bergman) who counter the evil Rock n' Roll menace with their own brand of government sponsored MUSAC such as "Mister Prissy-Faye & His Orchestra." The Bug initiates the war by blowing up Laurence Milk's warehouse full of square records in Polkawaltz, New Jersey. As the story progresses and the war escalates, the Bug introduces drugs (Marijuana and Hashish) into the fray thus bringing the J-Men to ultimately counter with all out war and destruction. The Lightning Bug responds by turning up the music to unsafe levels which results in the destruction the Moon and himself. The J-Men, most of whom were apparently killed in cliffhangar-like fashions throughout the course of the movie, are discovered to actually be alive. With the war won, Proctor and Bergman of the J-Men decide to "Go with it!" and share a joint.

This is one of those films where just watching it once will not be enough. There are so many jokes, quips, and asides thrown in one after another, and you will be laughing at it all so hard, you will miss some of them until you view it again...and later again.

With Woody Allen's brilliantly silly re-dubbing of a Japanese action movie for What's Up Tiger Lily? Peter Bergman and Phil Proctor went the extra mile combing through countless old Republic serials to piece together the silly story of J Men Forever. With the evil narcissist The Lightning Bug hidden on the moon, he plans to conquer Earth by beaming down and hi-jacking all bland radio stations with this new hideous 'rock n' roll' he's devised. Bergman and Proctor nicely interject themselves as lead J-Men in a office assigning super agents to thwart this Lightning Bug and his henchmen. Despite the inconsistencies and outright silliness of the dialog and all, it still is a very creative and cohesive movie for it's time. Later to be embellished upon with the likes of Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and even Woody's return with Zelig. But J Men Forever deserves more credit and respect for it's meagre reworking and budget to pull it off like they did so independently and with a true passion for all the old serials.

I know `J-Men Forever' was at one time available on video back in the mid-80's because I remember seeing it for rent in a video store. (The video store has long since gone out of business.)

The movie is a hoot. It is one of my fond memories of my early 30's. Sadly, now that the hipsters of the '70's have turned into their parents, a movie like `J-Men Forever' is probably now lost forever. You can bet your bottom dollar you won't see it on the USA cable network, or any other conglomerate-owned media outlet. Not that it's the least bit risqué, but it sends out the `wrong message' in our now more conservative times, if you know what I mean. It is all really unfortunate.

A bizarre villain, as well as a master of disguise, known as the Lightning Bug is planning to eliminate all easy listening and classical music to be replaced by whining banal rock. Its up to the J-Men and stock footage from Republic serials to save the day. The movie is hilarious, even if you never seen a serial in your life. The footage is intercut in the story flawlessly. The only setbacks are the actual filmed scenes and the fact that the film wasn't any longer. If your a serial fan though, this DVD is for you. Rating- 9.

PS- The extra includes an interview by Philip Proctor with George Wallace, lead in the 1952 serial Radar Men from the moon. Judging from the way the interview went, Proctor didn't have all of his facts straight entering the query.

Will someone who knows Firesign Theatre please tell them that if this video is not released on VHS (even better DVD), I'll throw myself off that cliff in the movie. I have such great memories of this from the 70's when no one knew what the USA network was. Only FS could come up with such great plot lines and take the time to edit this film. I have a copy...but it's getting old...like me.