Contato Mortal

It's imperative that you approach this film in a mood to be amused by a movie so bad, so clichéd, that it's quite funny. This film is the cinematic equivalent of a quattro formaggio pizza, literally dripping with cheese. Van Damme features very little in the movie and when he does, its in such a banal villain stereotype that one just has to chuckle. His death cry almost sounds like a cry of relief.

And as for the script, it's pure corny laughs throughout...

"The unidentified aircraft has turned out to sea" "Get me the police!"

The police? It's like one of those farcical multiple choice quizzes for imbeciles. An unidentified aircraft is encroaching on your sovereign airspace, do you (A) lock anti-aircraft missiles on the bogey, (B) scramble air force interceptors or (C) call the police. Yeah, police - good call. They've been itching for a chance to use those rocket powered jet skis!

Yes folks, this movie is jammed packed with the best of the worst. Great, grimacing camp fun. Enjoy!