O Ano da Destruição

This is certainly the worst movie i ever saw? The beginning is somewhat good, but the end? I still don't even get it! Magical power, 300 years later, goddess, dancing what the f*** is that about??? The acting is somewhat not so bad.. but some place I could do better for sure!

If Mr Cranky had rated this, I'd be tempted just to copy his review and paste it here. But as he hasn't, I'll have to give it a go myself.

The only thing giving this movie a 1 instead of a 0 is that Malcolm McDowall's acting is excellent. However not even he can save this film from disaster. The director must have been really distracted when he worked on this one because it is just a conglomeration of scenes that were thrown together with very little continuity - reminiscent of bad '70's movies. Even worse, both the actors and director appeared to be making it up as they went along which probably showed how bad the original script was.

It's not even worth discussing the story line although it revolves around a futuristic corporation called the Proxate Corporation who put together a crew of dispensable people to carry a dangerous cargo on an old container/slave ship to Nigeria. This ship's computer is a baby kept in a glass jar and wired into one of the crew via USB 12 or something. The company should have been called the Prostate Corporation as the entertainment value of this movie is on a par with an examination of the same name.

I honestly can't find one scene that I could say was well made and made any real sense in the context of the movie. I only watched it to the end as I had a touch of the bird flu and this movie reminded me that there were people out there who were actually worse off than me - Malcolm McDowall in particular. I won't hold this against him as he's a great actor and every great actor is entitled to one bad movie in their career and this one is a doosie.

So, unless this is the only movie your shop hires out or you're male and you're doctor isn't doing prostate examinations this week and you somehow feel this is a bad thing then give this one a really wide berth unless of course if you're really community minded, buy a copy to support Malcolm and then use it as a drink coaster.

This is one of those "so bad it is good" films that you always hear about but never see! Unlike Troma films which are deliberately bad and campy (and I am not amused) this one is 100% pure serious.

However with features such as a supposedly super-lethal killer robot that prances about like one of the Solid Gold Dancers on an acid trip and a magical first mate that calls down lightning and transforms into the Good Witch of the East the fact that it takes itself seriously pushes it so far over the edge of bad that makes it full circle around back to entertaining.

Watcheable enough because of that.

Yet again Michael Pare has made an unwise choice by signing onto this mediocre action movie which takes places almost exclusively in the confines of a large boat. As a result of this fact, the entire movie feels extremely confined and in absolute need of being opened up with various locations... or for that matter a set design with imagination.

The direction is lackluster at best leaving Pare and McDowell to wander the cheap sets bellowing lines as though they were in a high school play. For two actors who have had stellar performances in such films as "Eddie and the Cruisers" or "A Clockwork Orange", one wonders how they could have fallen so far. Gwenyth Walsh (of Star Trek fame) makes an appearance here and is about the only high point in this overly long film. A brief flash of breast from Ms. Walsh seems to have only been tacked on for the sake of a sale on the foreign video market.

All in all, your video rental dollars would be better spent on one of these actors' films from their hey-day instead of this tired re-tread of a formula sci-fi action film.

It was bizarre both and bad, actually. The strange baby, the odd plot, everything was there to confuse. Even the props were lousy and the ship was plain ugly. Really nothing great about it, and nothing good either. Just common crap. One of many.