Claws

This was the single-most horrible film I have ever been witness to. When I was about 10 years old, I saw this movie on the rack at the video store. Since it was the only PG rated horror movie, I decided to rent it. I sat down that evening and watched this... "movie"... with my parents. Even at age ten, this movie was so bad we were crying from laughter by the end. To this day, we still joke about "Claws" and how disgustingly bad it was.

A "blind buy" I attained from the horror section of one of those fast- disappearing little video stores that makes their real money renting out adult videos from a small room behind a curtain...the only type of place you might chance to find a copy of CLAWS. To my dismay, I found that this is actually a tiresome coming-of-age drama/outback adventure about a boy left by his folks to solely oversee their rural farmhouse for a few days, and concurrently being gently ambushed by a single wildcat.

Certainly not recommended as a horror film(because it isn't), CLAWS works no better within its ascribed action/thriller classification. If you should happen to stumble upon this in the bottom shelf of some dusty mom-and- pop video store(and I doubt you will), shake-off whatever curiosity you may have about it.

3/10

This film does not feature any monsters or mutants of any kind. The only horror relating to this film is the fact that it was ever made. An early scene sets the stage as far as how much skill went into the making of the movie. Without wasting my time on details, a 12-year-old boy is left alone on a family farm. He tosses a lit cigarette into a pile of hay and a blaze soon commences. The kid grabs a small bucket and partially fills it with water. He feebly tosses it on the large fire. What happens next is what baffles me. He gets really angry at his dog for no good reason and throws the bucket at his canine pal. The camera changes angles and suddenly, not only is the entire fire out but the pile of hay is gone as well. How did a raging fire completely disappear without a trace in a matter of a few seconds? Please let me know if you have the answer because I'm at a loss.

Also, there was a disturbing scene in which a lynx and a dog are fighting each other. You could hear the dog squealing in pain and when the two were finally broken up, the dog could barely walk. This could be the most realistic (yet safely staged) animal fight in the history of films or...I don't like to think of the alternative. They later showed the dog bloody, mangled and limp in the boy's arms. Irregardless of that scene, "Claws" was already a lost cause. A large portion of the movie consists of the kid wandering around clutching a gun while occasionally falling asleep and dreaming of smoking and making out with a good-looking woman. I guess that was supposed to spice up what is otherwise a dull, plodding waste of film. It didn't work.