Formigas Assassinas

A large number of killer fire ants have awaken and start to consume people and animals in a remote area of Alaska. So it's up to a small group of people to figure out how they can stop these dangerous predators before they reach a major town.

Yep, that pretty much sums up this dour TV feature. It's bad. Again, did I tell you that it was bad!? I recorded this thinking that it might be cheesy fun, but really, there's no fun to be had. Gee, I should have gone fishing instead. True, it's a nature vs. man story, which that genre flooded the 50's, but for recent times this one is utterly boring and hardly enjoyable. Even a bad film made back then on this topic, at least it was unintentionally humorous, though sadly it isn't the case with this one. The opening sequence proves it! Most of the time I was thinking how did that happen or you got to be kidding me. This is because there is SO many things that lacked consistency and how many coincidences can you get, plenty! These one- dimensional characters are plain senseless and seem to forget too often that there are killer ants around, after battling them just a second ago and they don't seem to know ants can climb! What are terrifying are the ants themselves, the CGI effects are awfully staged and rather shoddy. That really goes for the lame explosions and patchy flamethrower too. But these ants can supposedly strip the skin off a human body within 30 minutes, although with out an ounce of blood. There's really only one drop! Just how big are they supposed to be because the rubber ones used to stick on someone when they are being attack is about twice the size of the CGI designs! They even take the lazy option of by providing a lot of deja vu moments involving scenes of the ants being used over and over again.

The plot goes for some intellectual speeches that bore you to death with its scientific mumbo jumbo. No way is this predictable hokum entertaining with its galore of clichés and mind numbing dialogue. A lot of the things you hear just make you cringe in disbelief. Please stop the bad pun! The corny acting was rather standard for this type of production, but there are some recognisable faces. Like Eric Lutes and Mitch Pileggi from X-files fame. Julia Campbell was lovely too. Just expect the usual enthusiastic performances. The acting might have been better than expected but also the cinematography was rather breathtaking in bringing the Alaska's wilderness on the screen. The backdrop was elegant. Too bad the direction and pacing was shamelessly lethargic and handled in a flat manner and plenty of the sequences show it. The telegraphed score is terribly worked in, but not as bad as the use of the stunt doubles (, the white water raft sequence where they decide suddenly to wear hats for the occasion). But like everything does in these shamble TV features, all the things work out in the nick of time… yeah right!

"Marabunta" is nothing but sour grapes. At least a hinted sequel won't see daylight, well I hope so.

"…flush them back to South America…" You tell 'em!

A swarm of ants from South America decide to over run Alaska.

Cheesy and silly from start to end. Poor animation on the ants, to begin with. Sometimes you see some actual footage of about three or four real ants: scary. Attacks are the most contrived sequences you'll ever witness. One dummy climbs into a giant ant hill. Another guy fires a pistol at the ant hill. Some other clod tries to attack them with a tractor. Still another dimwit fires a rifle at the swarm as they try to surround her. Nobody ever seems to think of running away; the ants move at about 1/1000th the speed of a human.

One guy is in a truck driving in circles while fire bombs go off on either side of the truck, no matter where he is at any given moment. But I love the "Let's blow up the dam" sequence best. There's no reasonable explanation for why this would help, or any assurance that it would work. They just decide to blow up the dam. A helicopter picks up a guy after an 2-second earthquake knocks him off his feet, and he rolls down a hill to land atop some dynamite he just lit. And on it goes.

Good for a laugh at how stupid it all is.

A small town in Alaska is being threatened by a legion of killer ants, which by some particular reason go crazy every twelve year and just wants to kill everything and everyone in their path. The town is soon evacuated, but some slack people persist with staying put to battle it out with the ants.

This has got to be one of the stupidest film I have ever seen. Sure, it was made directly for TV, but that does not mean it can be as bad as "Legion of Fire: Killer Ants".

The characters we are supposed to care about are: a lame guy from LA, an irritating teacher, a tired sheriff and finally his son, who screams in horror almost the entire film. Perhaps he had realized what he had got himself into when he signed up for this movie. And the otherwise gifted actor Mitch Pileggi, who stars as the sheriff, really should try to find better projects to work on when he is not shooting X-files episodes.

The ants are just as unconvincing as the characters, if not even more. When the movie is over, you will be very tired of close-ups of poor computer made ants that climb over sticks and rocks.

The movie also contains a lot of incredibly stupid action scenes. For example: when the two heroes are trapped between two flocks of ants out in the wilderness, they don´t realize that all they have to do is take one step out in water next to them, and they would be safe. Perhaps they were too scared to remember that ants can´t swim. And one time the kid is trapped inside a school bus, and there are hundreds of ants on it. But when the heroes arrive a few seconds later, all the ants are gone. Why? Many scenes are unconsciously funny, like when the heroes escape from the ants on a motorcycle and she screams, "Hurry! Faster!", when they easily could have walked away from the little troublemakers. And when all the mess is finally over, you have not seen a single ant been trampled to death, which probably would have been the easiest way to finish the little creatures off. Just jump on them, for Christ´s sake!

I could go on and on, but I think I will stop here. "Legions of Fire: Killer Ants" is a horror movie you will be laughing out loud to, which indeed also can be nice sometimes.

* out of * * * * *

This is one of the worst movies ever, and that's why you must see it. It is more unintentionally funny than most actual comedies, and it provides as much entertainment value by accident as many movies do on purpose. This film is funny and stupid! There's something for everyone here. I love this movie, which is hilarious! Sounds corny? No matter what anyone says, this is fantastic. I refuse to dismiss this, because I find it quite engaging, in a guilty pleasure sense. I thought this was cute and not bad. It's not the thing to see if you're in the mood for something uplifting, or something with tons of action. Final rating: 7/10.

I taped this one last week, it got three stars (good) in my TV paper so I was expecting a decent film.

I didn't get that.

What I did get is a film that goes so far into being bad, it actually becomes good. There aren't any scares, dramatic moments or good special effects but this film is FILLED with unintentionally funny moments. My favourite part was the stupid cop who after getting over the death of his 10 year old brother (the cop was at least 30+, how does he have a 10 year old bro?!) really quickly, later goes on to hilariously stumble and put a tractor into drive causing a barn to collapse with him trapped inside with the KILLER ANTS!!.

My other favourite part was the hero and the all action local school teacher/marksman escaping from another barn on a small bike so pathetic looking that even Harry & Lloyd would have refused to ride on it.

Ah yes, I also got a kick out of how they manage to make an ant poison potion in the school lab, not only does it kill ants but it's also apparently non toxic as the school teacher sprays it all over a guy's face lol.

Well worth watching!