Baby Bubbles

Baby Bubbles, evidently not an homage to a '60s stripper using that moniker, is a desultory porn effort, resurrected on Volume 23 of Something Weird's Dragon Art Theatre DVD series. It should have stayed in bed.

Premise has the title character pretending to be retarded but in fact a secret agent repping G.A.S.: Girls Against Slavery. No, she's not a forerunner of Oscar-winner Mira Sorvino, but merely a low-rent undercover (yuck, yuck) gal out to bust slavers Rick Clampton and Rufus Studley, operating a phony modeling/photography agency where they drug the girls and put them into bondage. As you can see, naming the characters represented the greatest effort on the part of the anonymous pornographers who made this one.

It's a dreary succession of sex scenes, with an early example of stretching by repeating footage (a cruel trick popularized after 1983 when many a shot-on-video porn opus would endlessly re-use a sex scene over & over to pad the running time). I liked the busty black girl playing the boys' assistant Ginger, and heroine Ms. Bubbles is easy on the eyes. BB, played by unfamiliar porn thesp Jeanie Tulip, is unusual for the early '70s in sporting a shaved pubic area. Third woman in the minimal cast, playing Lucretia McGinnis, is tall but unattractive. For no apparent reason other than to fill out such quickies' 6-person-cast requirement (?), a guy calling himself The Englishman shows up and gets serviced too. I know, I'm the only person who pays attention to the "plot". Dumb ending is handled with voice-over and strictly off-screen action.

Soundtrack is quite boring, ranging from muzak version of "Baubles, Bangles and Beads" to that classical gas "Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun" by Satie. Other credits are poor, with the most annoying motif being an attempt to deliver unearned money shots by frequently having Bubbles or Ginger emit a fake mouthful of simulated cum. Effect is something like a "Got Milk?" commercial. Ron Jeremy once explained the gimmick in a video "extra" interview, and it's quite obvious here, over & over.

Baby Bubbles (1973)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Ultra low-budget and rather lazy porno has a couple men using narcotics to trap women into prostitution. Undercover agent Babby Bubbles (Jeanie Tulip) gets into the organization to try and bring the men down.

This here was the second movie on the Something Weird Video release of BAT PUSSY. That film is one of the greatest bad movies ever made whereas BABY BUBBLES is pretty standard stuff that won't appeal to very many people. The one thing the movie has going for it is that Tulip is very easy on the eyes and she certainly helps keep you interested in what's going on but the movie is just so cheap and lousy that you can't help but get bored.

The biggest problem I had is that the story was pretty much just there to get to the sex scenes. The sex scenes were all poorly shot and I'd argue that none of them were too erotic. It also didn't help that several scenes were played a couple different times in an attempt to get the film a longer running time. The film will basically only appeal to those hardcore fans of the genre who want to see everything that was released during this era.