"Bitter Suite"/"Time Share" (if only the movie could have changed with the title) is a painfully lame German-produced TV movie that is far below its two stars (it says a lot about the current career of Nastassja Kinski that she's credited as a co-producer). The setup is out of a thousand dozen sitcoms - families put together by mistake, neither one getting along with the other at first but... cue lots of arguments, gooey sentiment, and a kids-in-peril-at-sea segment so unconvincing it makes "Jaws 3-D" seem tense.
Timothy Dalton's accent really irritates, but neither he nor Miss Kinski (who manages to not seem humiliated, and who's still a beauty in her 40s) are at fault - it would have been even worse without them. The only consolation is that some of today's far less talented bright young things may wind up in the same predicament one day - it's sad that, like Rosanna Arquette, Nastassja's wasting away in bad TV movies. Then again, you can't come back without something to come back from...
