Old No. 587: The Great Train Robbery

In 15 years, I've written approximately one review. IMO, though, anybody thinking about this movie needs some warning.

The acting is bad, to the point of being painful. And it wasn't just one actor; every one of them seemed to be performing the art of Reciting Lines. The writing didn't give them very good lines to recite, either... and on a larger scale, the plot was uninspired and predictable, the premise thin and nonsensical.

Directing-- I'm not sure there was any. Editing-- there WERE a couple of unnecessary "Family Guy"-style interrupts that added nothing to the film. Two of them. Just jarring little "what the **** was that?" kind of shots. Overall, the entire film was of a par to something made by promising middle-school students.

My wife and I were increasingly dismayed watching this, until we started MST3K-ing it. Ridiculing it made it tolerable, and somewhat enjoyable in a sarcastic way.

But all this is like reviewing a children's book for its literary merit. After the movie was over, our 7-year-old son said he really liked it and thanked us for "making" him watch it. And since I rented it thinking HE might find it interesting, I guess it served its purpose.

This movie has everything young children enjoy in a film: a fun premise, a resourceful hero, gadgets, trains, adventure, and bumbling parents. It's as magnetic as a Barney video without the irritating song and dance. Check it out for your kids. 8/10

I gave this movie ten stars because I'm not reviewing it from my adult point of view, but, from the point of view I'd have had when I was a child...for which this movie was made.

I write reviews on children's movies from time to time, and, I always do it as if I were still a child because I feel it unfair to do it any other way. For an adult, of course this movie is impractical, and, maybe even boring; but, for children, especially those who love trains, this is an adventure with an old locomotive...'for children, by children.'

I saw this with my Son when he was five (he's now 14), and, he reacted to it as most five-year-old boys who are fascinated by trains would - he loved it. It's priceless to watch a children's movie with your child and see their happiness, and, to share in it. If young children could express their feelings better, I'm sure they would say the same thing about a parent who watches one of 'their' movies with them.

Overall, this is a good movie. Granted, it doesn't have the excitement of "The Great Train Robbery" (1978) with Sean Connery and Donald Sutherland; nor, the intrigue of "The Cassandra Crossing" (1976) with Richard Harris and Burt Lancaster...but, it's not supposed to - it's a 'kid's movie' with a small budget and unknown actors, and, should be rated as such.

I read SO MANY reviews where adults rate children's movies and TV shows as if they're supposed to stack up to an adult movie or TV show with a huge budget. I watch and really like "Breaking Bad," "Mad Men," and, "The Walking Dead;" as well as movies with Erroll Flynn, Clint Eastwood, and, Leonardo DiCaprio; but, it would be unfair, and, even stupid, to compare 'these,' or, use the same mentality, when rating a children's TV show or movie.

I believe that it was THIS MOVIE that strengthened my Son's love of trains, which he still has now. He often goes over to where the tracks are and watches trains go by, and, for that alone, I give this movie ten stars! :)