Crocodilo Assassino

You guys who gave this movie more than one star are nuts!

This movie is slapped together in a way that can only be described as awful! I watched it with a group of friends and most of them were drunk or drinking and it was not even that funny.

Aside from a shot of a monkey on the crocodile's tail and some bad fake blood being spit out of a victim's mouth there was little to find amusing. The special effects are weak and silly looking. The music is warbled and weird. The acting is non-existent. The direction is no where to be found. Also they kill a live crocodile on screen which is tasteless and disgusting.

One of the all-time worst JAWS rip-offs! A horribly shot, edited and mixed film. Altogether atrocious!

My review was written in November 1981 after a Times Square screening:

The ongoing cycle of horror pictures hits bottom with "Crocodile", an almost unwatchable "Jaws" ripoff shot in Thailand. Picked up for domestic use by Herman Cohen's new Cobra Media distribbery, film has a marketable title and little else.

Atomic testing in the atmosphere has created a huge mutant crocodile, destroying whole villages (its tail causing tidal wave effects) as it heads for Bangkok. A scientist Dr. Akom, his friend John and a ship captain named Tanaka set out by boat to destroy it, aided by a comic relief photographer.

Amidst the sloppily assembled footage of silly model shots, bloody killings and an unconvincing set of various-scale crocodiles, picture's only diversion is its risible dubbed dialog. "If it kills every three days it must be following a pattern", John announces at one point. Film is so inept that when they finally blow up the monster, we never see whether the heroes survive. Technical credits are poor.

This ultra-cheap Thai export, borrows wholesale from the last third of "Jaws", and yet despite the carbon copy approach, manages to end without the audience even knowing if the title beast has been overcome, or whether the hero has survived. There's an almighty commotion, then, the film abruptly ends.

While enjoying a weekend getaway with their wives and offspring, Dr. Tony and his budding medic friend soon become widows of an oceanic behemoth, that proceeds to devour everything in its path. Not content to grieve in silence, the pair gesticulate for about three-quarters of an hour on how they'll avenge their family's deaths; meanwhile, the beast is causing mayhem in the local village. After much soul-searching, reflection and the occasional bizarre chemistry experiment, the two eventually enlist the services of a rugged fisherman Tanaka (Kirk Warren) and set off by boat to end the creature's path of chaos and destruction.

Frequent use of miniature sets and paltry special effects afford this film a corny quality the antithesis of the otherwise intense and heavy-handedness of the characterisations. Disjointed editing, unintelligible dubbing, droning monotone synthesisers, and annoying cinematography (from extreme darkness to blinding sunlight pans) don't assist the flailing storyline. Must surely be considered a curiosity, and will more than likely compel a second look, even if just to try and decipher what happened (or didn't happen, but should have). An interesting insight into late 70's Thai cinema, and the techniques that were unemployed when making movies.

Giant rampaging monster alligator/crocodile movies are a (cough) pet favorite of mine. The grand daddy is probably Sergio Martino's GIANT ALLIGATOR RIVER with Barbara Bach. Other notables are KILLER CROCODILE and the environmentally conscious KILLER CROCODILE 2, not to mention Wes Craven's CROCODILE, and the two ALLIGATOR films cleverly named ALLIGATOR and ALLIGATOR 2, and of course Tobe Hooper's EATEN ALIVE. Even the Six Million Dollar Man fights a giant alligator or two, proving that this was a cross medium phenomenon.

Usually the stories amount to little more than rip-offs of various themes presented in JAWS, with an avenging family member trying to stop a rampaging mutant crocodile from eating it's way through some sort of tourist holiday/celebration, much to the annoyance of the uncaring or corrupt local officials. The reason why they usually "work" on a simplistic, juvenile and lunkheaded level is the Roger Ebert quote, "Show me someone who isn't afraid of a 40 foot long rampaging mutant alligator and I will show you a fool." Sompote Sands' CROCODILE will probably not be remembered as a classic of the genre, which is a shame, since it is one of the most remarkable films ever made. Half schlock JAWS ripoff and half leftover GODZILLA inspired rampaging monster movie, this is actually a production of the notorious Dick Randall, the brainiac behind such deliriously enjoyable bits of trash as KONG ISLAND, THE GIRL IN ROOM 2A, PIECES and HORROR SAFARI. We know we are in for quality, especially with the opening montage of disaster footage, hydrogen bomb test scenes and the sight of two topless teenage girls kicking and screaming while in the jaws of a huge fake monster crocodile puppet.

The movie never looks back: A doctor's family is decimated by an overgrown rampaging mutant crocodile who has seen JAWS and lurks in the sea, waiting to gobble up bikini-clad swimmers with pert breasts. Between feedings it smashes up native villages with a gusto not seen since KING KONG VS. GODZILLA. At one point it even swallows a water buffalo whole -- no easy feat -- then proceeds to gulp down an entire tourist group from Great Falls, Montana, injecting a curious duality into this Thai made film: Eating topless girls? Forgivable exploitation, I guess. Destroying native villages & their livestock? Nyehh ... Eating Caucasian tourists? NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Something must be done!

Concerned that having a giant rampaging mutant crocodile in his coastal waters gobbling up tourists might hurt the local economy the owner of the local Nike sweatshop allows our hero to organize a JAWS inspired personal revenge mission to hunt down and exterminate the crocodile, and then the plagiarism really kicks into full steam. We get the devil may care seaman with a personal grudge against crocodiles, the bright young student type who's lover was also eaten by the crocodile, and a feckless reporter who wants a scoop all joining forces on the sailor's boat to chase the crocodile with a dynamite tipped harpoon gun. They even use floating oil drums painted bright primary colors to track it and at one point one of the team members is swallowed whole. Not eaten, swallowed.

In case you have not gotten the picture yet this movie is utterly absurd, starting with the crocodile itself, which like Godzilla has the ability to change scale from scene to scene depending on the needs of the shooting script. Sometimes it is as big as a jumbo jet, others only as big as Mr. T for those tight, closeup shots of the crocodile biting people's legs off. At one point I ceased caring about the story and just enjoyed the wild unevenness of the movie, blending images that look like they were culled from Mr. Randall's 1978 production also called CROCODILE with modern day footage of the intrepid crocodile hunters boldly facing the wrath of nature to bring the crocodile to reptilian justice by blowing it up with the dynamite. The special effects are also hypnotically staged, though they look about as "realistic" as those Christmas specials with the little puppets & the Burgermeister Meisterburger.

Is it a good movie? Heavens no. Is it a fun movie? Perhaps. Is it an obscure, ultra hard to find gem of Z grade cinema worth finding just to laugh at? Absolutely! And I got exactly what I wanted from it, at least: A silly, exploitative, voyeuristic, at times disproportionately gory ultra low budget movie from Thailand about a giant rampaging mutant crocodile eating lots of people & then getting blown up real good. If you look for anything else in such a movie you are utterly wasting your time.

5/10

This Thai entry into the "Nature Strikes Back" genre concerns a rampaging reptile that predictably became an enormous mutant because of atomic testing. When the entire families of two dedicated doctors become snacks for the beast, these two hopeless dummies launch a campaign to find and destroy their nemesis.

I wanted to like this movie more than I did, but as it is, it's a pretty incompetent time-waster, one that wears its "Jaws" influences right on its sleeve. (The final third takes place on the open water with our various "heroes" trying to bait the crocodile and then pump it full of lead.) Most everything about it is lousy: the acting, the dubbing, and the English dialogue is cheesy as Hell, the special effects largely underwhelming (the filmmakers alternate between live footage of a real crocodile and their own dubious animatronic), the music completely ineffective.

Granted, I got *some* enjoyment out of this on a "so bad it's good" - or, at least, "so bad it's amusing" - level, but practically the only worthy component is the gorgeous widescreen photography of the exotic locations.

This is the kind of thing where you root for the monster; it *does* build up quite a good body count, and cause a lot of destruction, before this is over.

Animal lovers will NOT like the moment, however, where a real croc is cut up with a knife.

The American release was "presented" by Herman Cohen ("I Was a Teenage Werewolf") and co-produced by Dick Randall ("Pieces").

Four out of 10.