Hoje Você Morre

"Today You Die" is another ridiculous action film from Seagal. The plot is: Harlan Banks (Seagal) gets a job as a getaway driver for a big casino heist. It turns sour and Harlan goes to jail. In the slammer he meets Ice Cool (Treach) who can help him escape. Meanwhile the brains behind the casino heist think Harlan has the stolen money. When Harlan escapes he dishes out some revenge to the bad guys.

There are many unintentional moments of comedy and here some of the standouts: 1. When Seagal jumps on a chandelier and kicks a goon 20 feet. 2. When Seagal does any fighting they don't show it.(The stunt doubles do all the work). 3. The glaring continuity errors. He punches a guy in a brown coat and then it switches to a black one. He also wears the same button down blue jacket as in "Submerged" (2005). He refuses to take off his jacket while in prison with Ice Cool. He is the only guy in the entire prison NOT wearing the traditional prison garb.

Besides that, Treach and Stevie have some chemistry and the movie is action-packed. See it if you still like Seagal.

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Almost as if there was an unexpected explosion in whatever department is supposed to handle plot and character development you can almost see bits of "what might have been" scatter all over the place. Bit like the fairly realistic blood spatters from (mostly) shoulder wounds in one shoot out.

Seagal always manages to get interesting co-stars. In this case I nominate Mari Morrow.

And it gets a bit sentimental at the end. Quite touching, especially after such a spectacular explosion in the final warehouse the whole damn county would have been declared a disaster zone. All good fun.

But you can't deny you keep watching them, and part of the fun is that Seagal seems to insist on doing exactly what he feels is right. And even if it goes directly to video, how many stations carry his films?. Dammit I watched a 2005 film tonight on an Irish channel. It all means royalties.

So lets all get crazy!.

It's been 3 months and you know what that means...A new Seagal movie. Seagal has really been on role making horrible film after horrible film. Each time every movie getting worse and worse, he's really amazing! I don't really know what to say about TYD, first it's a piece of crap, the story makes no sense at all, secondly he uses stunt men in all his fight scenes, and last but not least a lot of the footage is taken from other movies! It amazes how this guy continues to find work, he comes to the set late and leaves early and because of that his films are full of plot holes and stunt men. Why do we continue to buy his movies, why do we continue to have hope that maybe just maybe he will make a great movie?

(Credit IMDb) A former thief who is trying to go straight seeks vengeance on those who framed him.

Today You Die consists of more stock footage then I'd have liked, but considering the turds he puts out on a consistent basis these days, even stock-footage I'll take, if it has some good bits and pieces. It has a decent car chase scene, and Seagal does do some fights, only a few of them are filmed in the dark. Seagal looks a bit more motivated then usual, despite wearing a big coat, to hide his heavy baggage. Treach isn't that easy to watch though, and his chemistry with Seagal wasn't that great. The ending is a bit cheesy too. But that's Seagal these days for you.

Performances. Seagal is better then he usually is in low budget crap, but that isn't saying much. He's still lazy, and I never was fully satisfied. That being said, he's better then usual. Treach is annoying, and should stick to rapping. Mari Morrow is OK in her role as Seagal's love interest. Kevin Tighe and Nick Mancusco both good villains, do alright here. Sarah Buxton is easy on the eyes and does decent as an Agent.

Bottom line. Mediocre is even pushing it, but if this type of quality means no more stuff like Kill Switch, Attack Force, etc., count me in!. Not sure if it's worth an entire recommendation, but Seagal fans might be somewhat surprised. I kind of was.

4/10(barely)

Poor action films are the graveyards for aging martial art stars. In such films they struggle to maintain that dangerous demeanor that made their early work successful, but they all end in failure. Seagal is too old for this type of role but he wont let go...no matter how silly he looks. Some hope his current work will somehow bring back the magic, but there is no magic left. The late '80s and early '90s belonged to Steven Seagal and his work made me a fan. I could see him fit nicely in a slot on The Sopranos where his overweight body, jowly features and sullen attitude could have found a home. I wonder what the return is on his run of direct to video films?! Since he produces them I'm assuming the $$$ is more than satisfactory. If this is the deal we will be subjected to poorly done Seagal action films well into his late 60s and 70s.....