The Adventures of Super 18'' and His Friends the 'C' Men

Henri Pachard directed a sh**load of films in his career, and this one appears to have been made on a dare. It has minimal value, but is a curiosity.

Just as Justice Clarence Thomas almost didn't get his lifetime gig when Anita Hill revealed his fascination with porn phony Long Dong Silver (he of the fake-looking dingus often featured back in the '70s in issues of Club Magazine, or in loops opposite a bewildered Seka), this spotlight on Tony "Mr. 18" Duncan is another exercise in futility. The man is certainly packing a lot of meat but even industrial strength Cialis couldn't get him up.

This bait & switch video features a lengthy segment starring Tony, and then fills the running time with unwatchable mixed combo filler that is truly lousy. The main event teams Tony with super-busty Donita (I seem to recall she was called Micki Flynn or something like that back then) in a "meeting of bods".

It's almost Warholian as they square off in non-stop verbal baiting and abuse of a truly nonsensical nature, certainly egged on by the playful Ron Sullivan (aka Henri Pachard). Mine are bigger than yours is the theme -which I guess still makes sense on a Burt Reynolds or Herve Villechaize locker room level (yes both these celebrity clowns used to do stupid dick-jokes when guesting on the Johnny Carson show back in the '70s), but I was stupefied trying to ponder the comparison of Donita's breasts to Tony's member.

Ultimately our heroine sort of gets him up, at least enough to have him feed a few inches into her vagina, the way ole John Holmes used to do in most of his "I wish I could get it up" porn outings. Highlight is certainly Donita's expert blow job footage, which I found arousing enough thanks to her skills and closeup photography that removed the rest of Tony's unappealing self from the frame.

Yes, file this away under oddball VHS titles. The relevant Tony/Donita footage has been revived on DVD via the crudely titled release "Monster Cocks and Gaping Assholes 11".