Imortal

There is nothing that will get a movie downgraded faster than false advertising. If you are going to get an "R", then make the movie an "R", not a PG-13. There was nothing in this film that you cannot see routinely on broadcast television. It was a huge disappointment when you have someone as gorgeous as Sofya Skya, and all you see is her back. Sheesh!

There was no one in this movie to cheer for. Yes, I know it's a Gothic tale, and it really made the grade there, but I expect a little more emotion from the actors. Go back and watch the early Gothic before special effects and see what actors did then.

It was painful to watch.

I always have high hopes for anything based on Poe's work or that of Lovecraft, yet always seem let down. If Dario Argento or any worthwhile Italian Director would have handled this poorly drafted script, it would have probably gotten the treatment it needed. I had to watch it in two parts because I fell asleep. Slow paced, wooden NPC style acting, and predictable character development and plot twists that are better suited for an adventure or RPG video game than a feature film.

But I did give it a few stars! One for beautiful art direction and locations. Another one for the actresses, they were all beautiful and pleasant to watch even during their worst acting moments. Another one for the cinematography and special effects used aptly within the budget, although the style of the film is predominantly visual and better suited for a music video production or in-game cut scenes. Tighter editing and either a revised or shortened script would have helped this film immensely. And finally one for the perpetual references to Absinthe, as it is one of my fondest libations.

To sum it up, it's worth a watch if you can catch it on cable at like a 2am time slot or perhaps a red box rental, but nothing to go out of your way to see.

...but that's about it. I kept asking myself, "did they actually watch the movie before releasing it?" The thin plot line was all over the place and offered little explanation. Corny acting and dialog that could be barely spoken with a straight face. Confusing locations in the movie--tough to put your finger on where it was taking place. One minute they're in the USA, the next, they're in Russia. The electricity works fine, the suddenly it's not working and no one says anything. The movie is filled with tons of gaffes. Soundtrack consisted of a much too loud orchestra playing throughout every scene, (much like a Looney Toons cartoon.)

I'm sure the writers, producers etc, thought they were creating a masterpiece. Trust me,they didn't come close.

OK ... So it tried not to be a typical worthless neu-horror failure ... But it fell for all the usual things ... Drained colour flashbacks ... Naff unnecessary quick cut editing ( at times ) ... Acting that would make the local drama group blush ... And a storyline that could ( possibly ) have been interesting if it hadn't been written like a bad soft porn movie I have a feeling the budget on this was actually bigger than it looked ... Some of the settings were quite grand for a low budget film ... Unfortunately the director didn't know what to do with any of them How on earth do these awful directors and script writers get to make these films ... They are just a waste of time and money ... Everyone involved with the production I presume got paid ... Because that is the only thing this sort of junk does ... Pay workers As long as the financiers don't expect people to pay money to watch this dross ... THAT WOULD BE GOING TO FAR

"We will never have to pay that price. We can live forever."

I don't know why I watch movies like these. They're clearly going to be awful. All the reviews I read further reinforced the fact that it was going to be awful. But, I still felt compelled to see it, anyway. And yep, it was awful.

The problems were myriad. The scares and horror aspect of The Tomb were surpassed by most of The Goosebumps books I read as a kid. The story was silly and bland. The attempt to appeal to the audience with sex fell flat with scenes that would hardly earn a PG-13 rating and had no chemistry between the participants.

The absolute worst things about The Tomb, though were the acting and the script. The entire cast was uniformly wretched, especially Wes Bentley and Sofya Skya. Sofya is certainly a very beautiful woman, but she would be wise to reconsider this whole "actress" thing. And Bentley came close to achieving the feat of making me never want to see another movie that he's in, ever. As for the script, describing it as "amateur" would be an insult to everyone who has ever been an amateur at anything in the history of the world. The dialogue is abysmal, and I can't imagine that anyone spent more than a few hours writing this.

I don't know what kind of dire financial situations are responsible for Eric Roberts and Michael Madsen being in this dreck, but I'm willing to offer money out of my own pockets to help them never have to be in anything this terrible, again. The only possible entertainment to be gained from The Tomb is from making fun of it. It's hilariously bad, but still too boring for me to recommend even for a laugh with your friends.