Death Rider in the House of Vampires

Movies like this don't seem to come around too often, at least I don't see them.

Definitely a B movie reminiscent of the 70's, includes an over use of blood and an abundance of gorgeous women, some missing their shirts. If you're in to B movies, this is the movie for you... I suppose some people would drop it in the category "So bad it's good", but just like "The Room" I don't really agree with that - it's just bad.

It does have a few good things about it -

Besides the girls being great to look at, they're actually not the worst with their acting. Their accents and slang from the wild west were pretty decent, not gonna win an oscar or anything but, decent. Also, Julian Sands (The Count) seems out of place here since he actually plays the part really well, the best acting of the movie by far.

The story and setting is also fun and as far as I know pretty original, although the plot is VERY basic with dialogue to match.

Also one small thing I really liked was watching them shoot their pistols. It looked pretty realistic (as in, not perfect).

Honestly, the whole film could be elevated to a praiseworthy B-movie that almost shouldn't be classified as a B-movie if it fixed 2 things:

1) Editing -

The shots hang on way too long. I'm not sure if it's for "artistic" value or what, but way too many times does it zoom in on a character and then fade out over an uncomfortable amount of time, sometimes the zoom will even have a clear stop and then an ever-so-slight zoom again (which made me laugh).

The couple of fight scenes could improve by leaps and bounds too.

2) The sound mixing -

WOW the film could be SO much better if this was done right. The movie is QUIET except for dialogue.

The score is barely heard and when it is it's very low, and the bar scenes especially suffer from this.

You can tell no one is making a sound in the scene and you can only hear the faintest whisper of background chatter added in. You need glasses clanking and people talking over each other. It's seriously very bizarre that the sound levels for background noises (extremely low) and effects (abnormally high) are what they are, but dialogue is normal. Actually, a lot could be elevated by the sound mix being fixed, even the acting.

I had to rate it a 2 because even though I appreciated the original plot and enjoyed the film more than "The Room" (which I also rated a 2), the technical issues are just too glaring to overcome.

Given the incomprehensible mess that was his first film Verotika, Death Rider In The House of Vampires actually was fun to watch. Yes, there were plenty of technical flaws; lighting, fade outs, zooms, and it was too quiet. But I am cutting Danzig some slack. He isn't schooled in film and you can never tell if he is serious or not. Personally, I like B movies, I like Danzig so I found enjoyment in this, but if you don't know who Danzig is you may well find this garbage. The opening credits alone were a weird yet captivating sight. As for Tasha Reign, the topless girl in the beginning of the film, she's an adult film actress and again, this is a Danzig film. If you're familiar with Danzig we can't be surprised at this. As Joe Bob Briggs is wont to say boobs, blood and beasts are what makes B movies, and in this day and age of uptight political correctness I found this throwback element fun. Julian Sands was good and brought credibility to the film, Devon Sawa was good too. Eli Roth brought energy and he commanded the scenes he was in. It was even fun to see Danzig in the film. Again, it is what it is. It was an improvement from Verotika. There was an actual story here and for a Danzig film I enjoyed it.

Do you love Westerns? How about actors who make porn dialogue seem like Shakespeare? Cinematography that looks like it was done on a home video camera from the 80s? There you go. I didn't even make it 30 minutes.

Might be the worst movie I've ever seen. The first 20 minutes can be skipped without missing anything.there are no redeeming qualities in this movie. The acting is bad, the dialogue is bad, the sound editing is awful. I have no idea how they got Eli Roth and Dany Trejo into this lousy excuse of a movie.

There's nothing to enjoy here. It feels like Glenn just ran into a bunch of has-beens and decided to shoot a movie in the desert that weekend. He raided the local Spirit Halloween, grabbed some black lights, crapped out an outline, grabbed a camera, and made the magic happen.

I want to say that "I can't recommend" this movie, but I honestly recommend that you find it for free somewhere. I'm not suggesting any avenues with which to do so, but don't pay money to see this. It's worth watching just so you can say you've seen the worst movie of the past 25 years. I don't know, when did Rollergator come out?

Glenn Danzig did provide, unintentionally, a very positive message from this turd: ANYBODY, literally ANYBODY, can direct a movie.

Do you think you have a movie idea, but are afraid it will be bad? Stop. Go watch this movie and realize that you have a better gift for filmmaking that Glenn Danzig. You might not have the same means, but you absolutely have more talent.

Get a Kickstarter going; Backerkit; GoFundMe. Do whatever you have to do to get your movie made. I guarantee it will be better than this.