Jakob's Wife

A vampire movie? A commentary on religion? A feminist manifesto? A horror comedy?

SNL used to have a skit where a husband and wife argued over a canned product. The wife said, "it's a floor wax!" and the husband said, "No, it's a dessert topping!" And a salesman comes in and says "Hey folks, it is both! It's a floor wax and a dessert topping!"

Which brings us to Jakob's Wife.

Either the movie had too many writers, each with a different idea, or the main writer got stoned and lost his train of thought 2 or 3 times during the course of writing this movie.

In chronological order; it is serious, it is scary, it's funny, it is feminist, it's boring, it is stupid and bam, it's over.

Ugh.

A couple of fun, bloody effects, an interesting vampire who looks like Caillou with bad teeth and a couple of cops who get a few good lines. Other than that, nothing to see here.

'Jakob's Wife' can't really decide what it wants to be. It goes from a very subtle first act, to an extremely bloody and gory second act, to a comedy third act - almost to the point of becoming slapstick.

This is a very different vampire movie and will be for an acquired taste only. The film's highlight and draw card is undoubtedly screen legend Barbara Crampton, who was excellent as Anne Fedder. I'm not sure whether one could refer to her as the film's protagonist, but she is the lead, and magnificent! She also looks amazing. She plays a woman trapped in a marriage to a minister who repulses her. Once bitten by a vampire - which happened off-screen for some reason, by the way - she undergoes a transformation. This was very exciting, scary and funny. The first act was highly effective with a haunting score.

Unfortunately the film itself transformed, as it turns out. As mentioned, the second act became very bloody; and I mean bucket loads of blood squirting from victims. Unrealistic and overdone, to say the least. It was still entertaining in a way, but it then goes from this gory act to a humorist final act. The creature was scary in the beginning but in the third act he looked like a creature more suited for a comedy - as if a spoof from other vampire movie creations. The humor during the first act was really funny, but it became a bit overbearing during the final act. What a pity.

Still, this is not a bad movie and deserves a watch if you're into this genre - and a MUST if you're a Barbara Crampton fan.

Would I watch it again? I doubt it.

A fun dark romance, one of the better Shudder films, Love lust, gore small budget done well I have seen much worse.

Really like this one. It feels like a small horror film from the past with themes and effects from the present. Very interesting score and direction. Would like a bit more development from other characters.

Barbara Crampton is still the best!

This film starts as a serious movie, then takes a turn to semi comedy that never really works. It's an attempt at a Fright Night type of movie, but the trudges along , but not really at a slow pace, but one that keeps your curiosity on the hook just long enough. Your lead (master) vampire should be menacing and frightful, this one however, was not, so the overall punch is lost. It was more like a life coach in a bald cap. The editing is odd at times which doesn't help matters. It's one of those films that leaves you squinting at the screen in confusion at times, thinking, huh? Barbara Crampton carried the film and it was great seeing her again.