The Lord of the Rings: Gollum

I have never written a review of a game before so as you can imagine, the fact I'm writing a review should just highlight how bad this game is. 10 minutes in and I am shocked as how buggy, clunky, boring and weird this game is. Gollum voice is shocking. I've seen dozens of voices actors absolutely nail a gollum impression. In fact, there is a woman on tik tok who can do one perfectly. Yet they went with one that sounds nothing like him.

Then there is his appearance... with a comb over borderline toupee. Just shockingly bas graphic.

I would have thought this game came out in the early 2000's and not only recently. I bought it for 16 bucks on special and I think I paid too much!

Whoever was responsible for any of this game, should never work again in the industry. Just absolutely shocked.

This thing, shouldn't be called a game.

It was designed by Germans as a torture device to inflict pain on the user.

What were they thinking when they decided to release it in it's current state?!

They just shipped the unfinished product. Gollum gets stuck, dies because he touched the wrong box, enemies try to shoot you shooting the ground and if they don't have crossbows they just stand and look at walls.

Sometimes your screen may start shaking so you have to force yourself to get through it blindly, not seeing anything on screen.

Devs should be ashamed of themselves, they not only wasted such a licence... they also disrespecterd The Lord of the Rings and Tolkien... or maybe how they called it in their apology - "The Lord of Ring".

Oh, I loves it, the humanity, the controls, the graphics, me loves it all. The Lord of Ring: Gollum Gollum is great.

No, we hates it, we don't wants it. The pain, the pain, the pain, it is real. I can't jump, I get stuck, the developers said they were gonna revolutionize stealth gameplay? Then why does we have broken A. I? It has early 1990s stealth mechanics? No, no, no, no, wrong! This is a scam, there is no way they spent longer than 1 month on this game. Scam, scam, scam!

Why don't you likes it? It is torment, and you know we loves torment. We loves money! $70.00 Americana Dollars, think about what we can buy with it. We can hire people to help use get ze precious, MY PRECIOUS which I must have. Give me more money.

Why is this a thing? Why precious, why? Don't do this, don't wants it precious, throw me into Mount Doom instead of another second in this game. Precious, precious, find my precious so I can disappear away!!!

Gollum and Daedalics rating = 10/10 (aka F**ck you give us money)

Smeagol and everyone else = 0/10.

Summary: This game is me precious!!