Finding Jesus

Yup, it's another good old classic feeling of WOWNow Entertainment, where you watch the bad movements and with the worst disappointments than any movie. Let's come to this part... this... is... horrible.

How come you might ask? I am not super religious nor a Christian, but I still am offended how they literally tried to mock a Japanese sushi fish... you heard me right... a sushi fish... ugh. It sure is understandable how they need more cash but obviously, you can't get money from that Christian movie. Thus, the whole movie gets a sequel... what a "big" surprise.

Genuinely offended in short both from this and the sequel, not recommending you all to watch them.

From the same company that brought us the horrid Star Wars rip-off known as Zoo Wars, comes Finding Jesus, a religious film that seems to be trying to make money off Finding Nemo. Basically, it's about two fish, Joy and Muggles, helping others with problems by using scripture from the bible and help from friends.

Yeah, I hate it. For a religious film, it sure is okay with stealing elements from Finding Nemo (and thus, breaking one of the Ten Commandments). The characters are very annoying, and the film gives a false message that scripture can immediately solve any problem or make people feel better in seconds, and the character models are all cheaply done to the point where they are always smiling (making them creepy).

You know when you have some random depression rabbit-punch you in the the chest and make you wish there was a building taller than your one-story house that you could throw yourself off of? This was the cause of it.

Look, I'm not a critic. And also, I just watched this ok Discord with my friends. But, like, really WowNow? These voices are just something else. I feel BAD for the voice actors, I hope they got paid well, because of boy, is this movie a treat. First of all, I don't like the main characters. Bubbles or whatever their name is and Joy. This movie is so bad and forgettable, I can't even remember the MAIN CHARACTERS names. I remember Professor Shark, I remember Mr. Sushi. (Which by the way, having raw fish with fish eggs on it, talking to alive fish is pretty wierd) With his over-done stereotypical Japanese accent is kind of annoying. Also, while I did watch this on YouTube at, like, 0.02 frames per second, the story is also just bed. I can't even mark this for having spoilers because I can't remember the story. All I remember is the plot twist being a joke of how the fish, has the memory of a fish. (Haha "very" funny). I can't remember that much, all I can remember is that this was a slog to get through and I don't recommend anyone to watch this. I know I'm trying to end it here, but the movie just also abruptly stopped at an hour and 8 minutes, almost as if this movie (if I can even call it one) wasn't completed.

Dear reader, I would like to state the immense feeling of utter dread and pain that this movie made me feel inside mine human heart. I cannot even fathom the amount of brain cells that have died utter dreadful and painful deaths inside mine brain. I shall now proceed to jump outside my window in the hope that Jesus will save me from this complete and utter abomination. Yours truly, A broken man.