Pee-wee as Himself

Paul Reubens was one of the true creative masters of our time. He didn't need a cartoon for his vision; he translated it into real life. The characters, the energy, the Playhouse itself, were so authentic and timeless that it felt like we were being invited into a safe space that lurked just behind the curtain of our everyday world. He managed to blend the mainstream with the avant-garde in such a way as to activate the full range of viewer imaginations and backgrounds- like all the best art. I remember checking my fridge during commercial breaks to see if we had any dancing food in there like Pee-wee's. And I was only partly disappointed when I found none... because I knew it was dancing when I wasn't looking. :)

This two-part doc by Matt Wolf offers a complete anthology of Paul's journey. We learn about his family and friends in Florida, early influences, education at CalArts, development at Groundlings, emergence on Broadway, and ultimately his superstardom on film and television amid the handful of personal issues that set him back.

I connected with the storytelling style here. It veers between historical clips, interviews and narration- notably from the man himself. Paul was a natural performer all the way through to the end. He talks to the camera as if he's sharing a secret with you. He's intellectually nimble, and his improv skills evidently never eroded. He knows precisely when to leaven adult anecdotes with juvenile humor: "Dad told me, 'Paul, if you're homosexual, I want you to be the greatest homosexual you can be'... so I went out that night to be the greatest homosexual ever- no, just kidding. ;)" His winsome attitude and smiling eyes make him a compelling speaker, and he means what he says in perfect earnest.

Learned a lot as well. Like how Pee-wee had a regular spot on Letterman before he made it big; he was once a contestant on The Dating Game; at CalArts he was part of an absurdly talented 10-actor ensemble that included Katey Sagal (= Peg Bundy) and David Hasselhoff (= HOFF!); and at Groundlings he laid the foundation for the Playhouse with mainstays Phil Hartman (Captain Carl) and John Paragon (Jambi). So if you're a Pee-wee fan, it's delightful. And if you're learning about him for the first time I'd love to be in your shoes because he's a total original whose greatness will inspire you.

Was there anyone who actually believed that Paul was a pedophile? There was never any there there. Yet the label tormented him until the day he died, as revealed by some gripping footage where he addresses the miasma of innuendo that swirled around his name. I'll never understand whose agenda we serve by perpetuating falsehoods against those who mean well. All I can say is, thank you Paul for laving pure joy over the world and sharing your singular artistry with us all. Your reputation remains clean to me, and legacy of Pee-wee Herman will be cherished forever. Conky's secret word today is LEGEND.

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"I just felt I could be the beacon out there and say it's okay to be different. It's okay to be creative. In fact not only is it okay, but let's celebrate it." - Paul Reubens.

A peek behind the bow-tie, revealing a unique, complicated, and somewhat challenging person. After decades of being exposed to the carefully curated Pee Wee persona and media sensationalized Paul Ruebens, we finally meet the real person. Fortunately, the documentary doesn't attempt to glorify/villainize or pass judgement, allowing the viewer to take away their own interpretation of the man. Magical dreamer? Calculating control freak? Lighthearted and kind? Troubled and difficult? Perhaps, a mixture of all? "Pee Wee As Himself" lays open his life and personal reflections for the viewer to decide.

Greetings again from the darkness. Even the title is a form a trickery. First of all, there was no Pee-wee Herman other than the character portrayed by Paul Reubens. Secondly, much of what this documentary presents is not from Pee-wee, but rather from Paul Reubens 'himself'. And it goes directly to the point - the public adored Pee-wee Herman, while Paul Reubens was a bit more complicated. Documentarian Matt Wolf (SPACESHIP EARTH, 2020; the excellent RECORDER: THE MARION STOKES PROJECT, 2019) presents a two-part documentary for HBO that strives to clarify the line between man and character.

Paul Reubens died of cancer in 2023. Prior to that, he sat for 40 hours of recorded interviews with Matt Wolf, offering perspective on his career, his background, his motivation, and his self. While we see Reubens speaking directly to the camera quite a bit, Wolf utilizes a treasure trove of clips and photographs, as well as other interviews to paint the full picture of how the man and character came to be so closely associated.

Part One details Reubens' influence from children's television shows like "Captain Kangaroo", "Howdy Doody", "Kukla, Fran and Ollie", and "The Little Rascals". It's because of these programs that from an early age, he wanted to be an actor ... and was convinced Lucy and Desi were his real parents. Art School (with classmates David Hasselhoff and Katie Segal) drew him to performance art, and also led to his first serious romantic relationship with Guy. Reubens eventually decided to focus on his career, and described himself as out and then back in (the closet), since he was able to "pass" (as heterosexual). We see clips of him performing on "The Gong Show" and with The Groundlings, including Phil Hartman and Laraine Newman ... which is where he laid the foundation for the Pee-Wee character. Clips from "The Dating Game" proved Pee-wee had appeal.

The commitment to the Pee-wee Herman character was a career choice, and it's fascinating to learn that actress Shelley Duvall recommended Tim Burton to direct PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE (1985). The story behind the bicycle is a gem, and the film jump-started the career of both Burton and Pee-Wee ... errr ... Reubens. Reubens admits to his ambition and willingly hiding behind the Pee-wee alter ego.

PART TWO focuses on the iconic stardom of Pee-wee Herman in the 1980's. Building on the popularity of the first film, "Pee-wee's Playhouse" was developed as a 1986 children's TV show, in the vein of those that so influenced a young Reubens. There was even a Pee-wee doll that became a best-selling gift. Reubens explained that beyond entertainment, his goal with the show was to make inclusion the "norm". He wanted a place where all kids felt they belonged. Laurence Fishburne admits he didn't "get" Pee-Wee, but needed the work and gladly took the job as Cowboy Curtis. BIG TOP PEE-WEE (1988) followed, and may have been the last enjoyable moment for Pee-Wee/Reubens to bask in the spotlight.

After years of living an extremely private life, his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure at an adult theatre instantly changed his life. 'Playhouse' re-runs stopped immediately, as did sales of the doll. Paul Reubens' mug shot became a meme ... early 90's style. Unfortunately, this wasn't his last public scandal, yet remarkably, Reubens was able to create a second half of his career as a character actor and voice actor - with only a few additional roles in the Pee-wee Herman suit.

The documentary includes clips of his parents and an interview with his sister, as well as input from directors Tim Burton and Judd Apatow. Reubens explains the inner turmoil of having his creation, Pee-wee Herman, be awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, while Reubens himself has not. Towards the end of the film, Wolf plays the self-recorded audio that Reubens recorded the day before he died. Although he discusses his desire to bring joy to the masses, we can't help but question the failed friendships along the way. And though Paul Reubens may very well have been a creative genius, we must finally ask, "I know you are but what am I?"

Premiering on HBO on Friday May 23, 2025.

There's an astonishing honesty about this documentary that Pee-wee admits: Few of us get to make a final statement about their lives. The filmmakers were unaware that Paul Ruebens was battling cancer for several years before they made the film. In fact, Paul padded away a few months after it was completed. Like Walter Isaacson's biography of Steve Jobs, a person facing death finds honest self-revelation easier than a person still protecting their identity and public image. Through out the film, Paul Ruebens consistently reveals that he finds it difficult to separate his alter-ego Pee-wee from the person Paul. When he gets a star on the Hollywood walk of fame, he notes that it was Pee-wee whose name is on the star, not Paul's. There are many revelations about Pee-wee's creative process including how the storyline of Pee-we's Big Adventure came about. While he and writer-director Tim Burton were developing the screenplay on the Warner Brothers studio, he saw many actors riding the lot of bicycles, so he asked: How do I get a bicycle? The next day, a 1950s era Schwinn DX showed up outside his office. Pee-wee ran into the office and told Burton he knew the plot would center on Pee-wee's love for that bicycle, how it would be stolen and how his adventure would be getting to back. It's a beautiful film about a child-like actor who mixed his fantasies with life's realities.

Whatever can be said about Paul Reubens (Pee-Wee Herman), the best explanation of who he really was resides in this excellent new Max two-part documentary "Pee-wee as Himself." Essentially, this is Paul Reubens interviewing himself, unfolding his deeply personal and often lonely life and his hard fought and spectacular rise to fame from the ground up.

But then came his controversial arrest in Florida, and later, a dubious investigation in California, both having the net effect of killing his career. In a sometimes homophonic and politically-driven society, Reubens certainly had the deck stacked against him.

Reubens publicly "outs" himself in this documentary, something he could not safely bring himself to do throughout his personal and professional life. He likely felt at this point in his storied career he had nothing to lose.

Ironically, the filmmakers and even many of Reuben's closest friends had no idea that he was quietly fighting cancer. Paul, of course, knew, and he wanted to make sure his self revealing documentary would be shown after his death. For various reasons (explained in the documentary), it would not air until May 23, 2025.

Reubens passed away July 30, 2023 at age 70.