Peter Five Eight

Apparently this isn't the director's first movie. Which is bad because that's the only thing that would excuse this amateurish nonsense. Actors are bad, editing is *really* bad, camera is bad, dialogue is bad, and I am not sure I can watch enough of this to see if the story is equally as bad. I laughed more in the first seven minutes of this than in some comedies, it is so ridiculous. And this isn't even taking into account that Kevin Spacey is in this dreck. I almost felt sorry for him (but not really, obviously). I hope the director goes to film school or something next. I have seen movies with far smaller budgets that were first time projects that had so much more talent and ideas and knowledge. This is just laughably bad.

Sam (Jet Jandreau) is a professional realty agent working under Brenda (Rebecca De Mornay). Her home life is a drunken mess with a drunken loser husband. Out of blue, Peter (Kevin Spacey) starts investigating and interfering in her life. She has a dark secret past with Lock (Jake Weber).

This is strictly a B-movie with pretentions of being a noir story. The dialogue has some clunky lines. The concept is fine but nothing too special. The filmmaking is not that good. This does have three veteran actors, but the rest are poor. I don't know anything about Jet. She's not good. Some of the minor actors are much worst. As for Spacey, he's trying to add some comedic touches and they don't always fit. I can't say that I love seeing him anyways. It all adds up to a weird B-movie viewing experience.

Peter 5:8 KJV: "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour"

It kicks off like amateur hour. Affectation creeps in as if someone is trying to sell something cheap as much more valuable. At one point it looks like it is going to turn into a David Lynch film. Something big seems to be going on, with millions of dollars being transferred to the Kevin Spacey character. In the end, it's all just pointless: the Bible quote, the devil, the guilt, the hitman. Nothing adds up. There is no thrill, no intrigue, no action, no (dark) humor. The bloated Kevin Spacey is quite unappealing. Actually going with the idea that this is just a parable, with Spacey as the devil, will make the whole film look even more ridiculous.

Hope. What can get you through this movie is hope. The hope that it will turn into something better. The love for Kevin Spacey, Rebecca De Mornay or Jet Jandreau. A deep faith in religious movies. But first and foremost hope.

This film is about an out of place real estate agent named Sam (Jet Jandreau) and her Joe Dirt looking Husband Travis (Michael Emery) living in a small Washington town. When a shady looking character by the name of Peter (Kevin Spacey) shows up asking questions about Sam's past. The film also stars Rebecca De Mornay (Brenda) Jake Weber (Lock) Garrett Smith (Grant). The film is written and directed by Michael Zaiko Hall, who did a poor job in my opinion. If this was how Kevin Spacey was to make his comeback it was a major swing and miss. The plot which was fine but it was overshadowed by such poor acting and overacting as well. A community theater production could have done a better job. At times I thought maybe they were trying to make it so bad in attempt it to be good. Such a waste of talent not sure what they were thinking when they signed up for this role. Disappointing.

Forget the intriguing, stylish and sophisticated movies we've seen Kevin Spacey in before. This steaming pile of drivel was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. The acting was appalling - the female actor who played Sam was so over-the-top with her wild eyes and shocked expressions, it was embarrassing. Kevin did try, bless him, and the scene where he expertly mimed a song in the pool hall was the highlight for me. But the rest was just awful. I did my crossword puzzle while the movie played out. Towards the end it picked up a teeny bit, thanks to Rebecca de Mornay, but a few minutes out of a full length movie is far from satisafactory. Life is too short and there are so many other movies to watch, so please, give this a big miss. I think I'm gonna watch Kevin in LA Confidential again, just to appease myself .....