Sky Monster

Sometimes all you have to do is read the title of a film, and you know it's going to be bad.

This is one of those films.

They seemed to have sourced the majority of the cast from onlyfans.

And did the effects on their laptop.

Because it sucks pretty hard.

If you are going to do that...all I ask is that you pay attention to the details.

Because, at one point they were flying through a storm...but the sun was still shining into the cabin from the outside like everything was hunky dory.

Logical consistency aside...it's about what I expected: complete trash that should have been a porn.

Thankfully...it's pretty short...and based on a patently ridiculous concept: a private jet, carrying a girl and her friends on her 22nd birthday, find themselves trapped in the Bermuda Triangle, inside a plane that is being attacked by a sky kraken.

So...not exactly something that is based on a stroke of brilliance.

It might be based on a different kind of stroke, though (if you catch my drift).

When it comes down to it, the whole thing amounts to a combination of Snakes On A Plane and Monsters...if you took the worst aspects of both those films, and mashed them together.

At least it has a couple hot, scantily clad, young women, though.

Because without them...there wouldn't be any reason to watch this at all.

Not that there really is, anyway.

2 out of 10.

Plot

A magnetic force pulls a small plane into the bermuda triangle, now a group of friends find themselves stalked by a beast.. in the clouds.

Cast

Brought to you by people who make a lot of terrible ITN movies such as the Toothfairy and Scarecrow movies while starring a load of folks who're consistently in them such as Sarah T. Cohen and May Kelly.

Verdict

When you go into an ITN movie there are things you need to prepare for such as bad writing, bad acting, bad cgi, bad practical effects and an all round bad movie. They're like Scyfy, but without that odd charm Scyfy films seem to have in most instances.

Sky Monster see's a group of girls in a private jet, drinking, partying, flirting with the flight attendant and battling a giant flying octopus that alike Scyfy movies has an inconsistent size. One minute it's small enough to ride the back of the plane, the next it's big enough to eat it.

The CGI is appalling, especially when it comes to the internal shots. The acting ranges from average to embarassing.

The script is everything you'd imagine it to be.

You'll also struggle to take it seriously due to the whole monster being an octopus thing!

The premise was okay, it was claustophobic and the movie had a finale that you won't predict.

Bottom line, it's an ITN movie. If you know what that means, you know what to expect.

Rants

I love movies set on in flight planes, it adds another layer of fear to it. The location, the claustrophobic element and the adding a foe to such a unique environment makes it that much more interesting. But question, why are they generally always terrible. Whether it be the likes of this Flight 7500, Flight of the Living Dead or countless others. The stuff should write itself to an extent, give us a decent horror in the sky please! And no Snakes on a ruddy Plane doesn't count.

Breakdown

Premise is solid Love the setting I have a weak spot for May Kelly Unexpected ending Awful cgi Everything feels so incredibly poorly done.

This is a very low budget film that you certainly do not want to expend any energy thinking about. The monster is interesting, although what are likely practical effects in scenes are done very poorly. Cindy is celebrating her 21st birthday, and her father has gotten her and some friends, who are all 22, a trip to a resort where they can spend three days on the beaches before returning. As they get on the plane, they are told to relax, as what could go wrong? And it seems clear weather ahead, until they get into clouds and storms, that the pilot cannot get out from. It is in the Bermuda Triangle. Their plane gets rocked, but it can't be turbulence, as turbulence does not have tentacles. On the plane is a hunk of a flight attendant who gets lots of attention from the passengers, and he has pills that are a combination of Valium and mushrooms. On take off, the pilot talks to the tower and passengers, all without a headset or microphone. And being in a harness also seems optional at times. The movie is low quality, silly at times, but still interesting enough to want to see how it will end.

Yikes! Someone had funny money from the recent economy. They also wanted to make a movie with all their friends and family. Good on 'em. Waste your $$ however you want. Just don't expect anyone to like it, other than those mentioned earlier. There is no good acting, there is no good sound, there is no good plot. Add in the goofy 70's presentation of the jet in the storm...really bad! I really wanted it to be a horrible movie that I enjoyed. Alas, I was not enjoying this, but agonizing whenever I looked at my watch. Perhaps someday this will become a cult classic, but it has nothing in it that would allow that measure of admiration. No matter how bad. In case you didn't realize, This is on my list of worst ever, if not at the top of the list. Please don't waste even one second on this horrible piece of non-fun.

A father arranges a charter flight for four friends to help his daughter celebrate what must be her tenth annual 21st birthday. The charter is crewed by a pilot and horny flight attendant. The plane takes off, has a sky monster encounter, and eventually the movie ends. The bulk of the movie takes place in one room decorated to resemble an airplane cabin.

The five woman board the plane in full horror movie party mode. They attempt to seduce the flight attendant, take random drugs, and dress up in bikinis because this is a horror movie and that's what people do in horror movies.

The festivities take a turn for the worse when the plane is sucked into the Bermuda Triangle, enveloped in a thunderstorm, and used as a combination surfboard and buffet by a tentacled monster. It's all downhill (pun intended) when the only pilot onboard involuntarily exits the plane intact through a half-inch hole in the ceiling. The birthday girl assumes the controls and... no spoilers here.

No one thing stands out as worse than another: this movie is consistently uniformly bad in every regard. That's rare because usually someone involved in even the worst productions has a modicum of talent or ability. Not so here. While no worse than anything else, perhaps most memorable aspect of the movie is the unique "nasal cam". Virtually every scene is shot from below, as if the camera operator was too wasted to stand or was a small dog with a GoPro glued to its head. Particularly disturbing were the extreme closeups that consumed fifty percent of the runtime, suggesting this was originally intended as an ENT medical school training film.

As with every other aspect of this film, the less said about the acting the better. Though in fairness the pilot's laughably inappropriate suggestive eye-wags were good for a chuckle. The special effects were Asylum Films grade; nothing more needs to be said. The script may have been written by AI trained exclusively on one star horror movies.

Three stars because I watched it to the end.