Alien Shark

Not sure if this nonsense is better testament to the artistry of the CGI programmer or their "chemist" - but in any case what we have is pretty much unwatchable. Soldier "Aleesha" (Brittany Altenbrach) is holding a party on a beautiful island when a meteor makes a splash and suddenly an hallucinogenic shark is terrorising the place. Quickly, we discover that there's a space ship - straight out of "Space 1999" - in orbit and it's using a deadly green ray to control not just the big fish, but one or two of her feeble-minded friends. Can she figure out just what's going on and thwart it's menacing intent? This actually makes Tommy Wiseau's shocking "Big Shark" (2023) look good, Oscar winning even! The acting is terrible and the story, such as it is, looks as if it was the result of a booze-fuelled college dare! The "animation" is hilarious at times and the denouement comes about an hour after it needed to. It must have had a very low budget, but what there was ought to have paid for a good lunch whilst leaving the camera hermetically sealed in it's box.

After watching this film, my life is complete. I have gained complete satisfaction from watching this film and i believe my life has peaked. I will never watch a film with such exquisite cinematography and thrilling special effects.

At some points in this film i was truly on the edge of my seat, unsure to what would happen next. The acting was exceptional and i felt every emotion that their characters portrayed. This film was truly an emotional rollercoaster and it pains me to think that i will never experience the true pleasure of experiencing alien shark for the first time again , i could talk about this film for hours. Alien shark was the peak of cinema and no film will ever compare. I am heartbroken that there has not been a sequel to this masterpiece.

Trying to coerce a vacation, an Army Sergeant decides to hang out on a remote island getaway with her friends and hang out together, but when they find that an alien invasion is going to be launched with a special shark placed under their control and must try to save her friends.

This was a pretty solid if somewhat flawed genre effort. Strangely enough, the majority of this one comes from the setup that manages to bring the group together into their vacation hang-out and general time together. Rather than acting like obnoxious and somewhat unlikable jerks that are hard to believe would be friends to this caliber much less want to hang out together, this one pits them as a genuinely likable group with the way they're shown to be hanging out on vacation with the different setpieces shown throughout the vacation. On top of this, there's enough generally chilling work done here with the build-up of the alien species influencing others around them on the island to start their invasion, controlling people to where they're unresponsive to others, the backstory with the abducted individual trying to put the pieces together to stop them, and the different features around the island which signal something is wrong. However, beyond that, there's not much to this one. For what should be a shark attack film, there's a surprising dearth of such sequences here where it either never provides any payoff on-screen by either cutting away before anything happens or just taking place off-screen so that there's nothing shown here. This has nothing to show for a series of attacks that are so infrequent anyway that it's almost possible to forget it's a shark attack film due to the far more noteworthy setup of the group on vacation rather than dealing with the shark. Since there's very little urgency between the group about the creature nor explanation for what's going on or how the mind-control works and who can get possessed, there's not much in the way of coherence here about what's going on, and with the low-budget origins do bring this one down.

Rated Unrated/R: Language and Mild Violence.

OK, with a title like Alien Shark, I could only assume this was going to be pure trash. (Hey, Noah's Shark had the best title ever, but was like watching paint dry.) Honestly, there wasn't much of a plot here, or a budget anywhere to be seen. The titular creature was rendered with bad CGI and stock footage, and didn't appear much.

But actually that may have saved the movie, because it meant relying on the human actors more, and some zany twists. It wasn't riveting, but it did keep it from being a total waste of time. And I have to say that the cast was pretty good as these things go. Brittany Altenbach held her own as the leading lady, even though she had a ridiculous script to work with.

Let me put it this way: If they DO make an Alien Shark 2, as much as I hate to admit it, yes, I would watch that.

The movie open with a shot of a meteor. Then it cuts to two girls jogging on the beach in their swimsuits. They spot a glowing rock. One of them is compelled to pick it up, gets green glowy eyes and than walks into the water. Then they both drop out of frame in the foot deep water. End scene. I had no idea what the hell was going on. It set the tone for the rest of the movie perfectly. Then we cut to the main character, Aleesha, talking to some stock footage of a military helicopter about how she's on leave. She's about to undergo the most world changing, glass ceiling shattering training ever. We later find out that she is going to Ranger school. No one tell the filmmakers that around 100 women had graduated from Ranger school by the time this movie was made. Anyway, the next big chunk of the movie is mostly the characters sitting around talking or walking around talking. Not a lot really happens. There are some odd vignettes that don't go anywhere or make much sense. At one point, they are walking along the beach and see a woman lying near the water. They go over to see if she's okay. She gets up, gets green glowy eyes and starts walking toward the water. The main character punches her in the face to stop her. She comes to and is confused in Spanish. Then she walks out of the frame and out of the movie. Who was that? What was that about? I have no idea. This goes on for what seems like forever. Then there's a rushed, nonsensical ending that involves fighting an invisible shark and throwing a pipe bomb at a doohickey made from an old digital camera. The day is saved I guess.

There are some entertaining bits here and there. They are few and far between though. Most of it just boring scenes of people talking about nothing.