Parker

Well, SURE, there are places where you must suspend disbelief (it's not THAT easy to steal a car, is it?), and SURE there are plot holes, and SURE there are times when you say to yourself "How did he know to go there?" BUT...this is one enjoyable movie!

The acting, the action scenes, and the eye candy (Statham for you XXs, and J-Lo for us XYs) are all great. Oh...and a word about J-Lo. While I've never been a great fan, the poor reviews she received made me curious. Well, she was excellent...and hot as a pistol. That woman has more sex appeal than 5 centerfolds. Patti Lupone plays her mom...very well, I might add.

Statham plays Parker and Parker-like characters in an intrinsically believable manner; that is, marginal characters who live on the edge of the law or beyond it (think "The Transporter" series) with an honorable streak. He slips into this part easily, and like his "Transporter" character, Parker seems little interested in sex. No...he has a singular purpose here as he has had in previous movies: get the job done, and no time for recreation. And once again, his singularity of purpose rings true.

There is, of course, violence, but we all have seen worse; my wife only had to look away twice, and she does not enjoy these types of movies, but goes to humor me (I agreed to see that dreadful "Moonrise Kingdom" after all). But she liked "Parker"--her direct quote was "It kept my interest"--and that was high praise for this kind of flick.

And as Tosh might say: "And for that, we thank you."

Parker has existed as a movie character for quite some time now, just never as his proper name. Donald E. Westlake's famous anti-hero has been in many movies ranging from Point Blank (Walker) to Payback (Porter), with a few others in between. And, honestly, you're better off with any one of those as this is a very lazily-produced potboiler.

Jason Statham is the now English Parker who has been betrayed by his latest criminal cohorts and left for dead, so far so familiar. Quickly regaining his strength he sets about exacting his payback (!) by usurping them on their next jewel heist down in Florida, recruiting desperate real estate agent Leslie (Jennifer Lopez) along the way. The action is exciting and well done, and the movie is fun, but...wow...does it look terrible.

Adapted from Westlake's novel Flashfire and directed by Mr. Helen Mirren (Taylor Hackford, a veteran filmmaker who should know better) you'd be forgiven for refusing to believe that this cost $35,000,000. Where did that money go? It's not up on screen. Shot in 5K resolution but then edited in 2K, thus losing 60% of the detail in the process (why???) this movie is filled with harsh color boosting and hard contrast. The aerial shots of sunny Florida look like they were shot in 144p. It really is the ugliest mainstream movie I have seen in the past decade.

It seems that since the advent of digital cinematography that production standards have suffered. Shooting digitally tightens the schedule as less time is needed between takes. There's no more loading, cutting, and printing, and this removes vital down-time that would otherwise be used to enhance the production value. For example, there is a scene where Jennifer Lopez is checking out Jason Statham's ass and is hungry for him. All I saw was an actor wearing a crushed suit that he appeared to have slept in. They didn't even bother ironing it! Imagine if they got that lazy with James Bond.

Parker looks like they just chucked the camera down, shot the scene with absolutely zero thought given to atmosphere or composition, and then quickly moved on to the next one. Look at Payback from 1998. The original cut of that movie looked very noir, while the 2006 "Straight Up" cut with different filters and lighting looked like a gritty 70s thriller. Any random episode of Neighbours or Home and Away looks better than Parker. An extremely poor effort that spoils the whole movie. It's simply not pleasant to look at.

It's so strange that Jennifer Lopez is the best thing in this, easily outshining the actress/character who is playing Parker's boring, flat wife. Having previously been a drag with no charisma (Money Train, The Cell, Ben Affleck) she's definitely become more entertaining and interesting since becoming a MILF.

You'll never come back to this movie, which is a shame as I often enjoy either cut of Payback and Lee Marvin's Point Blank is a classic of 1960s cinema. This movie will never achieve such status and it's poor production value is to blame.

I've read some of Richard Stark (a.k.a. Donald Westlake) 'Parker' books and this movie pretty much captures the essence of the character. This is not Shakespeare folks. The morality is pretty black and white in these books and Taylor Hackford and the screenwriter captures what this character is about very well. The only thing I found awkward in this movie were the flashbacks in the first third -- but that's a screenplay structure issue, not directing issue. Acting-wise, thought everyone did very well with their roles. No, there's not a lot of depth to anyone, except for perhaps Jennifer Lopez's character who makes it clear she's stuck in a dead-end life post-divorce and needs an out. All in all, a very good, entertaining crime thriller. I won't remember this years from now, but it entertained me and kept my attention throughout. And aside from all this, Stratham makes for one good badass! If you like this, definitely check out "The Bank Job" that he starred in: he really shows his acting chops in that one.

While I wasn't aware there was already a "Parker" character (in books that is), I was more drawn to the movie because of the director. Taylor Hackford has done some extraordinary work. Be it "Officer and Gentleman", "Devil's Advocate" or my personal favorite "Blood in Blood out". But you can't compare this to any of those movies of course. I was however surprised seeing him working with Jason Statham. A man more known for his action filled roles.

And while this might not be one of the better works of Hackford, it still is good action cinema. Michael Chiklis has been better though, although he doesn't get much to play with here. Jennifer Lopez gets to play in a good movie too for once (after U-Turn and Out of Sight), but don't expect to see too much of her here. This is the Statham show and that is pretty obvious.

I wanted to like this movie so much, because I really think Jason Statham has some serious acting skills and he deserves some good scripts. Also the story is based on a book, so it should have been good.

Alas, it was not to be. And it has almost nothing to do with J-Lo being in the movie. The characters are bland, illogical in almost everything they do, even Parker, the Statham's character. Worst than that: they are unsympathetic. You have a lot of greedy people, some of them evil, some of them stupid, and apart from them is Parker, who is not greedy, just stupid. He puts everybody at risk for his own principles, he gets beat up and shot a few times and somehow he still walks. It's like Crank, but without anything fun in it.

I have to say I am a fan of Michael Chiklis, from Vegas, but his role was small and two dimensional. One dimensional, really, but I was going with the cardboard metaphor. You wanna know who was the most clear cut character, the one that did the job and was consistent? Daniel Bernhardt in the role of the Mafia killing machine.

So, bottom line: a waste of time and of good actors.