The Last Heist

The Last Heist squanders whatever potential it had within the first ten minutes. What should have been a tense, stylish thriller ends up being a cliché-riddled, painfully dull mess that plays like a knockoff of far better films.

The dialogue is wooden, the characters are paper-thin, and the plot - if you can call it that - stumbles from one predictable scene to another with all the urgency of a Sunday stroll. The so-called "twists" are telegraphed so far in advance that they land with a whimper, not a bang.

Even the action, which should've been the film's saving grace, is poorly choreographed and badly edited. Performances range from forgettable to outright embarrassing, with most of the cast seeming like they'd rather be anywhere else.

By the time the credits roll, the only thing you'll be stealing is your time back - if you're lucky enough to walk away before the end.

I dunno know where to start if I'm honest.

One positive: there's some good acting from Terry Stone and Perry Benson, as always, but Sam Gittins and Daniel O'Reily (Dapper Laughs) really carry the whole thing. If it weren't for Dapper, I'd've turned this off after 10mins. I was surprised at what a great comedy actor he is and there's some real laugh out loud moments, which is quite incredible, considering how shocking bad the script is. All other acting is wooden, disconnected and inauthentic. GCSE drama springs to mind.

But yeah, the script is by far the worst thing about this film. There are so many swear words, it stops being funny and becomes embarrassing. The narrative is difficult to follow at times because there is so much waffle and extraneous information. It's also not clear what era we're in. The attitudes of the men towards women and the existence of East End gangsters indicates it should be 70s, but they wear Trump masks for the robbery... so, this is supposed to be modern day? Weird.

They've also publicised this film as being based on real people, but we don't know who these people are so lord knows why that's relevant. Either way, none of the characters are endearing or admirable. I'm not sure if I was supposed to like these people, be impressed by them, feel sorry for them or loathe them but I'm leaning towards the latter.

Basically, it feels like a load of geezers with some pocket money romanticised what they wish their lives were like if they were hard nut gangsters and this is the result. Don't waste your time or money on it.

Such witty dialogue... no not really... absolute garbage. The acting is horrible too - terrible actors passing round a baton of poorly delivered, cliched lines.

How long would it take a group of monkeys to write the entire work of Shakespeare? A very long time. However, I think they could probably produce a script for The Last Heist in a couple of hours by flinging excrement at a keyboard.

There is the usual collection of 10/10 reviews, and I'm not surprised - Think The Godfather meets The Dark Knight with a bit of Pulp Fiction sprinkled on top.

There is one part that's real cinematic magic,,,

Firstly I was looking forward to this. I'm a fan of most things Terry Stone has been in and he's solid in this.

Emily Wyatt and Sam Gittins were also decent here given the script they were given.

Ricky London (Dapper laughs) was easily the best thing about the film. He carried it to be honest.

The plot, could have worked with a better script and more direction.

I understand Michael Head wrote this, but his casting was a massive mistake. It was terrible watching him in this, it made others around him awkward and made it look like a badly done school play, rather than a film.

Such a shame. 4 stars is favourable here as well, it I was being honest I would probably give it less.

I would say if you like British gangster films and just want something to pass the time, knowing it's not going to be great, then crack on.

If not then give it a wide birth.

Mid tier Bri-eesh heist C-film. It's basically a bunch of cockney criminal caricatures reminiscing about their misdeeds and silly adventures, telling their story through flashbacks and conversations at the table. There is an eye-rolling twist that happens too late and does too little.

Uninteresting plot, incoherently edited, poorly acted, and horrendously shot and lit. In the end, The Last Heist is a good first hour, brought down by a final act that has a point to make but goes about it in a very misguided way. It's a reminder that creativity can be a good thing, but it needs to be properly channelled to have the desired effect.