Blood Relatives

IN A NUTSHELL: A vampire's loner lifestyle is thrown into disarray when a teenager shows up claiming to be his daughter, and she's got the fangs to prove it. On a road trip across America's blacktops, they decide how to sink their teeth into family life.

The movie is both written and directed by Noah Segan. But wait, he also stars in it! That always impresses me, especially for a first-time director! I'm curious to see what else he has to say.

THINGS I LIKED: This unconventional road-trip flick features two vampires played by Noah Segan and Victoria Moroles.

Yiddish words like Mensch, "oy vay", "putz", and "schlep" are used.

It looked like the scenes were actually filmed on location, rather than on a green screen, which is always refreshing.

There is some humor to make the movie more playful and fun.

We get to watch an ancient vampire transition into a dad.

Some moral territory is covered as the vampires discuss the rights and wrongs of vampire life.

The film makes a statement on how we all just want to belong and know where we came from.

The filming and lighting were good, especially considering so many scenes took place at night.

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE: It's a slow burn with a "meh" payoff.

Not all of the humor lands.

Not that much really "happens" to propel the movie into more than just a road trip film.

Fans of horror will be disappointed that there isn't more action.

TIPS FOR PARENTS: Lots of blood and some gore Profanity, including F-bombs Crude language and conversations

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Not for everyone. Gore hounds will hate it. Those who demand 100 million in special effects or big name celebrities. Those who insist every joke be obvious or have toilet humor or be about sex.

I was pleasantly surprised by this low budget indie. It has an off kilter sense of humor that quickly grows on you. That is, if you're willing to actually listen, pay attention, and don't demand explosions and piles of bodies or you get bored.

The writer deserves to be applauded. So do all the actors, and the principal ones have pretty good comedic timing.

In some ways this reminds me of the original short film for Things We Do In the Shadows.

Absolutely horrible movie. From the very start you know this is going to be a horrible ride.

The acting is downright terrible and the script is so poorly written you'll feel sorry for the actors even tho they are just as bad as the script.

The main problem is it tries too hard to be cute-funny and falls flat nearly all the time. Plus it's rather wordy and the acting isnt really good enough to plow through it.

It's anything for a laff, but It all falls flat.

In the end, the movie becomes tiresome with it's "cutsie" dialog and poor acting. Actually it becomes tiresome way before the end of the movie.

D level garbage not worth watching.

Right, well I sat down to watch the 2022 movie "Blood Relatives" because it was a movie that I hadn't already seen, but also because it was listed as a horror comedy.

Needless to say that I hadn't heard about this movie from writer and director Noah Segan prior to sitting down to watch it, so I didn't know what I was in for, aside from it being a vampire-based horror comedy.

And now having sat through the 88 minutes that the movie ran for, I must say that you have to look hard and long for a shred of comedy here. I didn't laugh once throughout the course of "Blood Relatives". Sure, there were elements hinting towards light comedy, but the movie never transitioned into being a comedy. So I feel somewhat cheated on that account, as I was expecting a proper horror comedy. Instead, I was given a horror drama laced with light elements of hints toward comedy.

While writer Noah Segan definitely was on to something here with the script and storyline for "Blood Relatives", then the movie sort of fell flat on the ground after a running start. Yeah, the movie was severely hindered by a really slow narrative without much of anything exciting, thrilling or fun happening. So you essentially just sit through a very slow paced roadtrip for two estranged vampire family members.

The acting performances in "Blood Relatives" was fair enough, but it was a shame that leading actor Noah Segan (actually the writer and director as well, duh!) and leading actress Victoria Moroles hadn't much solid contents to work with from the script that Noah Segan had compiled.

For a horror comedy then "Blood Relatives" was a flaccid and uneventful movie, and not a movie that I would recommend for fans of the horror comedy genre.

My rating of "Blood Relatives" lands on a three out of four stars, because the movie was rather uneventful and way too slow paced.

Not well adapted to vampire movies, batting around in the night, even though i am a night nurse of proffesion and most of the preference of a vampire is there, yes, ive got some pfangish molars and love beef tartar ive yet to become draculized...

but this was a kinda original take on the pestilence, very nicely set and gone, in the hands of noah segan , with witts and fun without exhagerating the topic of bloodthirst.

Its a small casted and well acted dark comedy about two strangers that meet in the middle of the night due to the need of darkness, a girl and a man, the man who sowed a seed 15 years ago in the heat of the dark, and the girl who grew out of this seed to become a beautyful daughter of his. But blending into blood relatives has its troubles, so here we go...

thanks to a short runtime, youll get flabbergasted when its over, i did at least, therefore a recommend from the grumpy old man. It has great sets, loads of gadgets and sttuff, its neatly camerahandled( the scene with the train in the background is mesmerizing) and its well edited. And its not horror at all, just comedy.