The Dead Thing

This movie sucked. I heard good things, and was very disappointed. Its a romance movie. Basically 50 first dates without the laughs. I felt like I was dosed with acid and wanted to pull my hair out the entire watch. Had to turn it off about half way through. There is literally a scene when a ghost is slapping someone, that's about as scary as it gets. I was waiting for something to happen, but nothing did happen. Watching a bean burrito melt in the microwave for 90 minutes would have been a better watch. Alas, I didn't have a bean burrito to obliterate, only my mind was obliterated by this poor watch, like I did to my toilet later that evening.

I recently watched The Dead Thing (2024), a Valentine's Day release on Shudder. The story follows a single woman struggling to find a meaningful connection, whether in real life or through dating apps. She eventually meets a mysterious man who seems to have an unusual influence on her, changing the way she sees-and craves-relationships. But what exactly is she craving, and why?

Directed by Elric Kane (Kissy Kissy), the film stars Katherine Hughes (Tangled), Emily Joy Lemus (Oppenheimer), Josh Marble (The Calling), and Joey Millin (Threshold).

This is one of those films that had potential, thanks to its unique premise and the mystery surrounding its events. The cast delivers solid performances, and there are some effective uses of lighting, shadows, and masks/makeup. However, the slow burn is too methodical, dragging on without much payoff. While there's some horror nudity and intriguing visuals, the film ultimately fails to build on its ideas, leaving it feeling hollow.

In conclusion, The Dead Thing plays like a poor man's Bones and All, but without a strong ending to justify the journey. I'd rate it a 4/10 and recommend skipping it.

My key points for this movie are:

Watch it like it is a psychological thriller rather than a psychological horror. I believe that will help you get you through most of it.

The concept does have great potential. It reels you in- you will find yourself lost in the movie at times. It goes a bit overboard artistically which makes the plot move slowly. Since they wanted to hide the big reveal, they use those artistic features to distract you.

It begins to feel longwinded towards the ending act. To me, the movie failed to reach a satisfying climax and left a lot of unanswered questions on the table.

This was just not my type of movie. It was a very slow, artsy, horror adjacent film. It was never scary or particularly interesting.

It reminded me a little bit of Alex Garland's Men. It was a "message movie" and I suspect it was trying to say something about hookups, intimacy, and toxic relationships. But I really lost interest by the end, so the main message was lost on me.

I caught this one for free on streaming today, so I'm glad I didn't pay for it. I would recommend waiting until you can catch it for free on one of your services. It's on Shudder right now.

You might end up liking it if films like Saint Maud and Men are enjoyable to you. But this one wasn't quite as good as either of those.

After a string of meaningless relationships, a woman meets up with a potentially perfect partner who seems right for her but mysteriously disappears sending her on a downward spiral trying to find him again, but when she does seem to find him and spark their romance finds his grisly secret.

This was a generally bland and not that interesting fringe genre effort. The central setup here involving the discovery of the guy she really likes and what happens when the date proves far more fulfilling than her random hookups and sets out to find what happened to him gives this a workable enough main starting point that could've done something for it's stated premise exploring the dangers of modern dating. Given the change that emerges once the dates start to become sexual in nature, this comes off well enough as a whole which makes the desired connection with him worthwhile enough to showcase the series of changes that come following the revelations about their relationship. This is all fine enough and gives the film a decent premise. The problem here is that it's simply a premise that works as everything else is completely bland and boring. The focus on this bizarre romantic drama about following the clues about his mysterious disappearance and using the social media apps to find him again and rekindle their relationship just takes any ounce of potential genre thrills completely out of this one to the point that it never feels anywhere close to this genre at all. It tries to rely on this twist in the final half hour to try to swing it's way into the genre but it's just not enough to care or be invested in the piece as a whole since there's been nothing about it falling into the genre as we're never even told what the figure is so there's no reason to care with nothing here being close to a genre effort at all.

Rated Unrated/R: Nudity, several sex scenes, Graphic Language, and Violence.