Bad Things

Bad Things might just be the worse film I've seen all year, 2023. I don't think the makers of this film have the basic knowledge of how to make any film and certainly not a horror film.

The central characters' friendship and intersecting romantic relationships, which are meant to be the film's grounding center, are described as having flimsy connections and dead air. The performances lacking chemistry and genuine feeling, leaving the film lacking emotional investment. The acting performances were abysmal.

It looks like they were striving for something along the lines of The Shining since it draws a lot of its inspiration from the Kubrick film. But they failed miserably.

Bad Things (2023) is a movie that was recently added to Shudder. The storyline follows a group of friends who are being supportive to a friend who recently inherited a hotel and hopes to either run it or sell it with her mom. It quickly becomes apparent that something isn't right and they believe it's someone not something causing their concern. Is the hotel haunted, is someone messing with them, or is it both?

This movie is written and directed by Stewart Thorndike (Lyle) and stars Gayle Rankin (Men), Hari Nef (Barbie), Annabelle Dexter-Jones (Ravage), Rad Pereira (Betty), Jared Abrahamson (Fear the Walking Dead) and Molly Ringwald (Sixteen Candles).

This had some unique elements and reminded me of a poor man's The Shining...like if it took place in the Poconos. The acting was actually pretty solid. There's some mental state subplots that were interesting. The characters are pretty unique too. Unfortunately, there was little to no horror elements until the very ending...then the last 15 minutes was impressive. The twists at the end actually surprised me that it was worthwhile with such a poor setup. There's some cool kills at the very, very end...but other than that this is fairly stale. I would score this a 4.5-5/10 and recommend seeing it once only for horror enthusiasts.

The actors in this movie made you believe in their characters. Their actions, reactions, and incidental chatter sounded like people really talk.

Unfortunately that's the only nice thing I can say about this movie. The setting and setup is great... if Stephen King hadn't thought of it half a century ago. The direction is uneven, sprinkling a few interesting scenes into an hour-and-a-half of ennui. And the writing.... Four characters that I cared nothing about, trying to survive, or not, whatever. This movie-other than the actors-came across like the product of a high school English assignment from an ineffective teacher: "Write a new ending for 'The Shining.' And remember, if less is more, then nothing must be everything!"

If this little gem is any indication, Shudder seems to have switched from producing horror films to producing horrific ones. The meager attempts to be scary in this script are bits lifted from other movies. Unfortunately these bits are so poorly directed they only serve to stir up unfavorable comparisons to the originals they were heisted from. Instead of the spooky little girls of The Shining, the hall of this film's hotel is haunted by two lithe young women jogging in place, looking like rejects from a failed aerobics program. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is also represented, and for more than one reason I wish the chainsaw wielding actor was wearing a mask like Leatherface.

Production values are rock bottom. A potentially creepy location is completely wasted on the milksop screenplay. Why there's a "production designer" listed in the credits is a total head scratcher. I would love to know what exactly they did to transform what appears to be a recently vacated hotel into what appears to be a recently vacated hotel. But maybe I'm wrong. Despite one character describing the place as "the Four Seasons of the 80s" it looks more like a Target shopping center converted into a Holiday Inn.

The costumes are a mixed bag ranging from ridiculous to hot. In one scene an actress appears wearing what can only be described as a clown gown ripped straight from the pages of a Zippy the Pinhead comic book. Earlier in the film we're treated to the same trans actress prancing through the halls in her underpants. We also get Molly Ringwold in a scorching red ensemble, looking absolutely delicious for a woman of any age.

If you're a fan of Shudder's agenda, which puts more emphasis on promoting progressive social values than providing scares, you might enjoy this tale of young LGBTQ+ lovers and friends wasting time in an empty hotel. Just sprinkle some No-Doz on yiour popcorn.

I give it 2 stars because it wasn't boring, precisely. It simply made no sense and wasn't scary in the least...that is, unless you count how frighteningly ugly and stupid the characters were. These people are friends?? I don't believe it. I was completely unable to suspend my disbelief and was acutely aware of the films shortcomings every moment.

Incredibly unlikeable characters (despite minimal development), a meandering and pointless plot that fleshed out exactly nothing, and an utter lack of logical support leave the film a nonsensical mishmash.

I'd seen the directors first offering, Lyle. A better film, though not good, it and Bad Things leaves me wondering if Thorndike is deliberately and actively trying to depict lesbians as unhinged, abusive, and dull-witted wastes-of-breath? And to ruin film?