Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space

Of course I would sit down and watch writer and director Chuck Magee's 2022 movie "Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space", no doubt about it. I mean, the title in itself was sufficient to get my attention.

Sure, I harbored zero expectations to the movie, as I doubted that it would be anywhere near the level of "Cocaine Bear". But I still opted to watch the movie and give it a fair chance.

Granted, I knew that "Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space" was going to be bad, but come on. I mean, they used inarticulate toy crabs of hard plastic, without any moveable parts. And that just makes this movie insanely horrible to sit through if you don't enjoy low budget lousy movies.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list in this horrible movie. Suffice it to say that you're not in for 83 minutes of Shakespearian theater when you sit down to watch a movie like "Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space".

The effects are so bad that you can't help but laugh when you see it. And you can see the fishline wire that they used to make the crabs "crawl" around with. It was just hilarious how low key and bad the effects are in this movie.

There was even a plastic crab in the movie holding a sign that reads "ridiculous, isn't it?". So the movie didn't take itself serious, and with good cause. Also a cake with the words "congratulations on quitting smoking" being served for a toddler. And a bowling ball drinking beer. Pretty darn strange, if you ask me.

"Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space" is a low budget movie, and one that requires a particular mindset in order to sit down and enjoy. You need to have a preference for cheesy, home-made, low budget movies if you find enjoyment in this 2022 movie. So it is not a movie that will find an audience everywhere.

And I never thought that in my lifetime that I would get to see inarticulate plastic crabs perform circus acts. But here we are.

The movie's cover over-sells the movie by a thousandfold. Don't set your expectations up to high here.

My rating of "Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space" lands on a very, very generous four out of ten stars. It was so bad that it was actually somewhat bearable to sit through.

The title is Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space, and that's EXACTLY what you get!

OK, I'm going to level with you. If the title appeals to you, check out the trailer. If it still looks appealing to you, it's going to be a hell of a good time. However, this isn't your type of movie, you're going to be MISERABLE!

This is without a doubt, a very low budget (probably $5000 or less) extremely independent horror comedy from the same director that brought you the preposterous and hilarious superhero comedy, Boardwithanailinitman!

Despite the low budget and ridiculousness of the movie, it's got humor that almost always hits, and the 2 main characters work well off of each other.

I HIGHLY recommend this film to lovers of low budget, self-aware, so bad they're good horror or comedies!

An extremely rare 10/10!

Why would someone do this? This is so horrible words fail me. Is there a market for horrible movies?

The crabs look like the crabs you find in the usa, tan / orange. But its made of plastic. It s a toy thing. No moving parts, just a toy crab. At no point do the crabs move on their own.

It is horrible.

Its like some company said " here is $200, I need a horror movie about crabs". And they went down to the dollar store and bought about 20 toy crabs and made a movie with it.

Cocaine Bear was actually quite good. Dumb but good. Was entertaining.

This movie is an insult to humankind. This may be my new number 1 worst dumbest movie ever made. That bad.

To their credit they show you the toy crabs right away, so within 30 seconds you know what your are watching. I commend them for that.

I need to stresss that there is no attempt to hide that the crabs are plastic toys. They just do not care. Maybe they think this is an art form? Bizarre.

Funny? Noooo, it is not like Dumb and Dumber that makes you laugh with dumb situations. This one is just offensive dumb and poinless.

Any actor involved with this is desperate to eat. It will not be a bright spot on their resume.

I was cracking up from the opening shot to the ending. This movie actually surprised me, I was expecting garbage, but give it a chance, there are so many redeemable qualities to this if you like low-budget comedy.

The stupid wordplay, the noire-like plot line, the self-aware tone and cartoony jokes- honestly, this movie is packed with great jokes that give A-list comedies a run for their money. The cake for the baby, the romantic dinner, the rube goldberg machine that takes itself out for a beer.. All around a fun production performed by lovable goofballs with genuinely good comedic timing. I loved it, great date night movie.

Do you like underground, B Rated films? We'll guess what? It's not even B Rated. It's like Z Rated.

It's like someone just filmed everything on an iPhone and they didn't even know how to use an iPhone because they're used to pagers.

It was just so bad. So so bad. It's got it all:

-Unfocused shots -horrible cuts and editing -do you like the sound of wind? Cause there's a lot of that!

And the budget? Must have been $100.

I'm not gonna do any spoilers or anything cause I'm not that guy, so if you're REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY bored, go for it.

3/10 (on here. 2/5 normally)

Only gave it 3 because I dig homemade movies, but man, it's bad!