O Jardineiro e a Lista da Morte

Was really looking forward to seeing JCVD again, sadly this isn't kickboxer or Universal soldier. It isn't even remotely close.

From the opening scene the bad guys with their balaclavas and Assault rifles, really scary looking apart from the fact they didn't have magazines in.

The guy trying to evade never got above grandad jog speed before meeting his demise.

I lost interest after that. However being a fan of JCVD I continue to watch thinking it's got to get better. Sadly it didn't. It's classed as a comedy but I didn't find any of it funny or amusing.

Now I need to make up the minimum a.....

When reviewing this film, there are two different perspectives. The first is that it brings back memories of '90s action and comedy films, which is a nostalgic experience. The second is that, when viewed from a modern standpoint, it can feel overly cringeworthy and a bit outdated. So rather than focusing on whether it's good or bad, it's more about reliving the feeling of classic action films. While there are plenty of action scenes, Van Damme's moments aren't as thrilling as before. Maybe it's because of his age, but his action sequences often rely on clever camera angles, and in some scenes, the stunt doubles are very noticeable. On the bright side, the film's music score brings back that old-school action vibe, and the cinematography is also a strong point. All in all, this is a light and easy watch, especially for those who miss the action films of the past.

Watched about half of this move and then walked, so maybe during the second half it completely turned around, but I don't think so. And my expectations weren't that high: I was expecting just another typical JCVD movie, but was disappointed badly. Even for a JCVD vehicle the characters were caricatures, and in case of Micheal Youn's character, simply annoying. The acting is flat, the lines delivered like they were red from a teleprompter.

It's trying very hard to be an action comedy and it is failing miserably. The level of comedy would maybe mildly amuse my 5 year old niece at some points, but even that is a maybe. If you want French comedy try a Louis de Funes movie, if you want action watch an older JCVD movie, but this one is best skipped.

In short: it is a waste of time.

Why are people giving money to the director David Charhon? Are they suffering from dementia? Have they seen his filmography? This man can't write, can't direct actors or crew, and can't edit. The Gardener manages to be worse than The Last Mercenary (which is already horrible), so congratulations! The cast? A botoxed K1 fighter, three terrible influencers, a rapper... There are fewer real actors in this film than influencers. Isn't that a problem? The direction of these people: zero. Van Damme looks like he's in distress every time he opens his mouth. Either he's unmanageable (in which case, just leave him alone), or someone didn't know how to direct him. Let's stop the carnage. Let's stop funding David Charhon.

JCVD is aging and obviously he can't deliver the action pack movies he once did, but this movie surprised me when it comes to action. There is a fair share and altough some are obviously body doubles well hidden by camera angles and fast cuts (still a lot more bearable than Steven Seagal's last fews), it entertained me well in that departement. The fights are also bloody and violent.

That said, the story and the humor it try to portrait is so ...weird ! French is my first language, but i am from Quebec, so even tough i had no issue understanding everything in the native french language, some of the jokes really didn't land. That said a few did. Got to give credit where credit is due.

I think the major issue is the actor portraying Sergio, the familly dad who is under attack. He is such a caricature i doubt anyone would really behave like this in real life. While a few of his lines or the situations he end up in did land, a lot didn't. And at times i rolled my eyes a bit wanting to yell "Shut the F up !" at him. Maybe it was the goal as it was a bit of an ongoing joke that he talked too much and Van Damme too less.

In conclusion this is basically a french "Die Hard" but almost as a spoof. The story is really just a pitch to have a movie, as the "list" is barely explained beside the minimal stuff to have a movie.

Want to see JCVD as a man in his 70s killing dudes violently with gardener's tools? Then you may enjoy that movie. But if you ain't into the weird French humor you may find the story/characters very unsettling.

Hard to really give a rating to this one. I enjoyed the action, i enjoyed Van Damme, i laugh a few times, but i rolled my eyes a few more. Yeah well 6 out of 10 seem fair.

After Darkness of Men i had very little hope for Van Damme flicks but this one gave me back trust that he can still do entertaining action, even if his age obviously do show.