O Conto dos Contos

Warning; I am going to gush heavily about this movie because, yes, it is one of the most impressive films I have seen in my entire life.

I saw this movie being advertised on a West Village theater marquee and I thought, why not, having no idea what the film was about. The poster was provocative, and piqued my interest as someone that enjoys horror, blood and gore. Yes, there are some horrific elements, some segments that might be considered "gory" (but even those that are sensitive shouldn't have much trouble getting through it), and it is certainly bloody in some spots. None of it is excessive, and all of it is integral to the story. Essentially, everything about it was so expertly crafted as to be a modern masterpiece.

The cinematography, the costuming, the acting, the writing, the music, the manner in which the tales interweave to create a wholly unique form of anthology film. I mean, not since The Fall (or more recently, Crimson Peak) have I fallen so head over heals in love with the way a film is presented. I marveled, literally mouth agape, at how utterly beautiful everything in this movie transpired. The costumes looked like they were borrowed from a museum, and the special effects blended seamlessly into the live action (to the point where you wonder if CG was even necessary if they were able to accomplish what they did using practical effects). There are animatronics, there are full-body old age make-up, there are full-blown set pieces created for this movie; I mean, it's a film buff's dream! You will be hard pressed to find a more visually stunning film made this decade. The budget for this movie could easily been in the millions, and it shows in every facet of its production.

Honestly, I could not recommend this movie more. It is quite literally the equivalent of the Sistine Chapel in film form. Don't read anything about it, don't see the trailer and just watch the film. Nothing will prepare you for the sheer spectacle that this 2 hour film will provide. It is, quite literally, a moving Renaissance painting crafted by the most talented of artists. It is nothing short of a work of the highest caliber and deserves as much exposure as it can possible obtain.

a film who has the rare gift to create a lot of adversaries. because it is...different. in good sense. and in bad sense. and this is normal. inspired by a classic Rennaisence book, it preserves the virtues of music, landscapes and costumes. and it propose an impressive cast. in same measure, it is not expected fairy tale. because the message is more direct than you expect it. and more...dark. and, maybe, the only significant sin is the absence of links between stories. the good point - its status of support for memories. because each of them seems be a parable about a fundamental error. and about its price. about punishment. and about the natural answer. in same measure, it is a film about a far perspective about small things defining each of us. and this detail does it a real good film.

This is an anthology of adult fairy tales. Rather than one after the other with a tie together the film opts for a more unusual parallel running of the three stories.

If I was to sum this up in one word I would say it is unorthodox. The characters and plots do not conform to the normal templates you would expect, either do the themes. The plots twist and turn like a path into a dark enchanted wood.

This film has excellent production, acting, script. There were more boobs, gore, rape and breast feeding than I was expecting but saying that, this film is not pornographic, disturbing or violent; a pretty safe watch.

The story lines keep you guessing as they have a life of their own. This is very refreshing but causes a satisfaction problem I also did not expect.

Consider this: Imagine you watch a film about a man planning to sail to Hawaii. You follow him as he builds his boat, saves up money, gets his sailors licence and an anchor tattoo. Then fifty minutes in, the boat burns down so he buy a plane ticket instead. If you think that sounds really annoying then you may want to give this a miss.

Very interesting, very different, well acted and produced. It keeps you on your toes the whole way. Don't expect the pay-off to be too great or to head anywhere near you thought it would.

Greetings again from the darkness. Fairy tales have long been a fruitful source for movie material. Some, like Disney productions, land gently on the family/children end of the scale; while others like the Brothers Grimm material are much darker and adult in nature. And now, along comes director Matteo Garrone and his blending of three stories loosely based on the 17th century tales published by Giambattista Basile … and "black comedy" falls short as a description.

Mr. Garrone is best known for his chilling look at an Italian crime family in the award winning Gomorrah (2008), so a trilogy of demented monarchial fantasies may seem a bit outside his comfort zone … but grab ahold of your crown jewels and be ready for just about anything.

A very strong opening leads us into the first story about a King (John C Reilly) and Queen (Salma Hayek) who are by no one's definition, the perfect couple. The Queen's inability to have children leads her to strike a deal with a Faustian seer who promises a baby to the royal couple. The only catch is that the King must kill a sea monster, and the Queen must eat its heart after it's properly prepared by a virgin. Yep, it's pretty dark and pretty odd. Of course, as with all actions, there are consequences (albino twins of different mothers) … some of which are not so wonderful.

The second story involves a lecherous King (Vincent Cassel) who falls in love with a local woman based solely on her singing voice. Much deceit follows and the actions of two sisters (played by 3 actresses – Hayley Carmichael, Stacy Martin, Shirley Henderson) and some supernatural aging products lead to a twisty story of romance that can't possibly end well for anyone involved.

The third of our 3-headed story is the strangest of all, as a King (Toby Jones) nurtures a pet flea until it grows to behemoth size. Yes, a pet flea would be considered unusual, but eclipsing even that in uniqueness is the King's willingness to offer the hand of his daughter (Bebe Cave) in marriage to a frightening ogre who lives a solitary life in the mountains.

These three stories are interwoven so that we are bounced from one to another with little warning … which seems only fitting given the material. Knowing the theme of the three stories does not prepare one for the details – neither the comedy, nor the dramatic turns. All actors approach the material with deadpan seriousness which adds to the feeling of a Grimm Brothers and Monty Python mash-up.

Alexandre Desplat provides the perfect score for this oddity, though the audience may be limited to those who can appreciate grotesque sequences assembled with the darkest of comedy. The moral to these stories may be difficult to quantify; however, it's a reminder that actions beget consequences no matter the time period.

It's a fantastic audio-visual journey that takes you into a world of medieval fantasies full of all the classical elements but with fresh stories and views. If you enjoy the work of Paolo Sorrentino (2013 Oscar for "La grande bellezza") you will love this film for it's masterful craft of building a world within. Only Salma Hayek delivers a disappointing performance: Stiff and uninspired. Pictures, music as well as sound design and costumes (not to mention the practical effects) are all stunning! Italy (with the help of France and the UK) delivers once again a masterpiece on the very tight budget of only 12 million €uros while the rest of European cinema is sleeping.