Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

There are already 50 shark movies and most of them are weak even for the fans of the shark attack films. This one is not the worst but actually quite hilarious one.

Somebody blows up something and the prehistoric monsters are released (which time already? Dinoshark, Malibu Shark Attack, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Megalodon, Jurassic Shark). Parallel, some good looking female prisoners are taken to the forest for some involuntary work. Nobody knows that one of the ladies is organising an escape plan. On the way back the prison truck is ambushed by Rayne - the vampire slayer and a lover of one of the prisoners. Nonetheless, their plans to reach for freedom are quickly revised by river/sand sharks. The local area is also investigated by two agents - Sculder and Molly I presume.

This flick contains everything bad you can get in a shark attack film. It also has everything charming concerning the amateur productions. The special effects are practically none, most of the attacks happen in an off-screen fashion. There is a cheesy romance subplot, god knows what for. However, I must say I was interested in the events. Why? Because the humour was really good. Actually it makes you go throughout the movie quite quick and fortunately it's only 80 minutes long. So normally it would be like 3/10 but I gave more for the funny parts.

Sharks again, really? This time Traci "Controversy magnet" Lords and Dominique "It almost looked like I was going to have a decent career" Swain star in yet another shark film.

When a group of female prisoners transport gets hijacked it comes down to them and the prison guards to team up to fight off the onslaught of "Wait for it" Sharkasaurus's. Prehistoric sharks that can move through land as easily as water! As you can imagine it's pretty dire and the distinct lack of budget cripples it. If you can't afford to make a movie about these beasties then simply don't!

Ironically the most famous performers in this film are the worst actors, maybe they just can't be assed anymore. Could you if you were in a movie called Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre?

The Good:

Couple of decent enough performances

The Bad:

WTF level cgi

Generic, clichéd, the works

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Every shark movie creator thinks that a giant shark can swim & sneak up on people in a foot of water

Men are non-committal, women are mysterious

Traci Lords should have stuck to porn

Want to see past-her-prime ex-pornstar Traci Lords and once-promising actress Dominique Swain battling ravenous CGI sharks in a flooded women's prison? Who wouldn't? Unfortunately, Sharkansas Women Prison Massacre is not that film. The name Jim Wynorski mean anything to you? If so, then you probably already suspect that this isn't going to live up to the impressive title. Wynorski's movie doesn't take place in a penal institution, 'cos that would cost too much money; instead, it's set in a swamp, where a group of big-breasted jailbirds (dressed in regulation tight white vest and denim hot-pants) are on work detail when they are attacked by prehistoric fish released from an underground ocean by fracking explosions. Meanwhile, Detective Kendra Patterson (Lords) and her partner are on the lookout for the missing prisoners.

Even though the ladies in this film are well-endowed, their impressive mammaries are kept under wraps, the closest the film comes to delivering any nudity being a quick dip in a hot-tub, although the bikinis stay on throughout. As for the shark action, there's a lot of shots of dorsal fins sticking out of the ground as they burrow through the dirt (these sharks are as deadly on land as they are in the water), but not much else is seen of the fish. Not only does the film scrimp on the bare flesh and the sharks, but there's not much gore either. In fact, unless you're a particularly big fan of any of the 'actresses' involved, or a sucker for punishment, I would probably avoid this like a hungry great white.

This is awesome, everything a good b grade movie should be except for being surprisingly low on gratuitous nudity given the subject matter.

Underrated movie methinks, i'd have it at least 2-3 rating points higher than jurassic world, i mean it's sh*t and ridiculous but at least it knows it's sh*t and ridiculous and doesn't pretend it isn't and didn't cost the GDP of a small nation to make.

The CGI is an embarrassment but that's OK cause you're too busy laughing at this movie jumping the shark by introducing us to prehistoric amphibious land sharks, the acting is a little better than horrendous which suits the tone of the movie perfectly.

There wasn't a great deal of logic or sanity in the making of this film, someone just said f*ck it i wanna make a movie about prehistoric sharks that are somehow also capable of swimming through land (no, i am serious really you need to watch this) and have them eat all these prison porn stars that are on the most ridiculous work release program ever.

Highly recommend :D

Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (2016)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Idiots and their fracking causes some prehistoric sharks to break loose and soon they are attacking a group of women (and their hostages) who recently escaped from a prison.

SHARKANSAS WOMEN'S PRISON MASSACRE has a terrific title for a "B" film and if you're a fan of the Roger Corman style of filmmaking then you know a great title can usually lead to pure gold in regards to people checking out your film. Director Jim Wynorski has always been one of my favorite "B" directors thanks in large part to films like SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2 and BIG BAD MAMA 2. Both of those films as well as many others are short, to the point and deliver cheap fun.

If you're expecting something like CITIZEN KANE then you should obviously avoid this. A movie like this is just trying to give horror fans some cheap entertainment and for the most part I thought there were enough entertaining moments here to make it worth watching. For starters, the entire cast are pretty fun and add plenty of entertainment. This includes Traci Lords in the role of a detective and we get Dominique Swain in the role of a the woman who fixes the break.

The exploitation level is rather low so if you're expecting gore or nudity then you might be disappointed. The CGI sharks aren't too horrible but they are still campy enough to give you a brief laugh. Basically if you enjoy these direct-to-video releases then there are much worse out there.