Review of Robo Vampire

Robo Vampire (1988)
1/10
The... Pain...
24 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
This is hands down the worst movie I have seen in my life. It tore at my fragile sanity. Now, I gotta warn you, there's some spoilers in here, if you can call them spoilers. I like to think this movie was filmed in real time and actually happened because something like this can't be written. It defies logic.

So drug dealers get a zombie wrangler to summon zombies, and this "anti-drug agent" tries to hunt them down but dies, or so we're led to believe by the abysmal face paint applied to him. He is brought back to life as an android wearing a suit made of silver oven mitts and wearing a helmet that doesn't fit. If I was brought back as an android that looked like that, I'd empty my clip into myself. But wait! There's more! See, one of the zombies (who inexplicably wears a gorilla mask) is in love with a ghost.

And some other stuff happens. I can't really remember. My brain blocked it out to save me from the horrifically bad imagery. The "zombies" shoot sparklers at the anti-drug agents. Yes, sparklers. I must admit, though, the cover on the DVD makes me laugh a lot. It shows Robocop in a pose that can only be described as lovingly holding the zombie wearing the gorilla mask.
6 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed