6/10
"I don't have any coffee in my apartment. But I do have some V8 juice..."
7 April 2014
A ridiculously hard-to-kill evil ninja wearing guyliner and sporting a Moe Howard haircut is shot to death by police. Before he dies he manages to transfer his soul into a sexy telephone line repairwoman and part-time aerobics instructor named Christie (Lucinda Dickey). Now Christie finds herself blacking out and becoming possessed by the evil ninja, who wants vengeance on the cops who killed him. One of those cops is a hirsute young man that Christie has just recently invited into her vagina. Now one-eyed good ninja Yamada (Shô Kosugi) must exorcise the evil ninja from Christie and destroy him once and for all.

Cannon classic from the '80s that will pretty much rock your face off so don't say you weren't warned. Big-haired beauty Lucinda Dickey branches out from her Breakin' movies to show the world she's got mad ninja skills. Jordan Bennett brings sexy back in a big way, representing the hairy men of the world quite well. Shô Kosugi, bless his heart, just doesn't know what they signed him up for. He gives it his all, though, and is probably the best actor in the film. James Hong has a memorable scene as an exorcist with a huge fake wart on his face.

Highlights include the evil ninja being chased and killed by police in a hilariously long sequence, a seduction scene involving V8 juice, Mr. Ochmonek from ALF in his boxer shorts, and ripoff scenes of both Exorcist and Poltergeist. If you're a fan of '80s ninja movies or a fan of Cannon/Golan-Globus productions, you'll definitely love this one. You'll learn a lot about ninjas in this movie and every bit of it is true. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Every bit of it is true.
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