- Reverend Timothy Farthing: The morris dancers have booked the hall for one o'clock. I do hope you're not going to run over.
- George Mainwaring: There is a war on you know, Vicar. If we're not finished, they'll just have to prance about outside.
- [last lines]
- George Mainwaring: Touch and go, old friend. But we got there in the end.
- Arthur Wilson: Friend, sir?
- George Mainwaring: Eyes front, shoulders back. You're a sergeant of the home guard, not a sack of potatoes.
- Arthur Wilson: Thank you, sir. You really are most awfully kind.
- George Mainwaring: Men, I am a man of few words but, there comes a time in a soldier's life, when one must confront...
- Frazer: For God's sake, man! We're in enough trouble without you making a speech!
- George Mainwaring: The boys have been dragging their feet, lately.
- Arthur Wilson: Yes, they have been a bit lax.
- George Mainwaring: There's no need for Latin, Wilson. If the king's English is good enough for him, it's good enough for you. You're not at Cambridge now, you know.
- Arthur Wilson: Oxford actually.
- Arthur Wilson: I do believe I won the exercise, sir.
- George Mainwaring: You did nothing of the sort, not dressed like that. You're Disqualified!
- Arthur Wilson: I thought I was being resourceful
- George Mainwaring: You were being devious and underhand. It's no way for a spy to behave!
- George Mainwaring: [Reacting to Godfrey's mobile phone ringing] Whose phone is that?
- Godfrey: I think that's mine.
- George Mainwaring: Godfrey, take that phone out. Turn it off immediately. Take it out!
- Godfrey: I can't get it out.
- Walker: I've told 'im...
- George Mainwaring: Walker, help him with his phone.
- Frazer: Walker got him a job...
- George Mainwaring: Fraser, stop talking and help him with his phone.
- Godfrey: I've got it now sir.