Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon

The female pR0nstar (complete with 100% pR0nstar acting) giving a naked shot under the shower, but that's it. No story, no characters, you will forget of this "movie" (?) ten seconds after watching it. I also hoped for more time with Asami, but she's in here for like two minutes and she's gone. I wonder what's the deal with these things. I get pR0n parodies are a thing, but this does not even account as that. Don't bother.

This is a pretty average Japanese exploitation flick. It contains violence, nudity and a loose the world has gone to hell sort of story. The main character is played by Kirara Asuka, who's more known for pornography than acting. Her character lost her memory and has to fight the bad guys to get it back.

The effects are sometimes OK, sometimes not. The action and nudity is acceptable. It's sort of humorous at times. And the theme of women controlling men with Vaginapower is kind of fun.

If you want nothing more than a pretty entertaining, stupid Japanese exploitation flick: here you go. Enjoy.

The story is trash, the acting is bad and the action is naff. There really is only one reason to watch Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon: the sexy ladies. Playing the titular 'ultimate weapon' is beautiful, buxom JAV star Kirara Asuka; when she isn't wearing her figure-hugging high-tech body armour, she's in her underwear or nothing at all (in the obligatory shower scene!). Seasoned J-sploitation queen and AV actress Asami appears as Poison, Iron Girl's nemesis, and there are several other attractive women in varying degrees of undress.

As far as the plot goes, it's unremarkable stuff, with amnesiac bounty hunter Kurisu Saotome (AKA Iron Girl) taking on a series of foes in badly choreographed action scenes to try and earn enough cash to buy a device that will restore her memory (which I assume she lost in the first film, which I haven't seen). Followed by Iron Girl: Final Wars (2019), in which Iron Girl is played by wrestler Saki Akai, who hopefully handles the fighting better than Asuka.

4.5/10, rounded down to 4 for the annoying comedy relief character who shouts a lot and pulls silly faces.

Right, well as I sat down in 2021 to watch the 2015 movie "Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon", I must admit that I wasn't really expecting much from the weapon, as it seemed to be another one of those low budget over-the-top Japanese movies. But still, as I hadn't already seen "Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon", of course I sat down to watch it.

And as it turned out, then I could just have skipped on this movie entirely. Because it felt like it was the collaboration between an 8 year old and a 15 year old boy. The 8 year old invented the characters and wrote the dialogue, while the 15 year old decided on the action sequence - and by that I mean adding an unnecessary amount of topless nudity "action".

Seriously, what was going through the mind of writer Yasutoshi Murakawa when writing the storyline for "Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon"? It was about as immature and pointless as it could possibly be.

I have to admit that I gave up on the movie early on. Not even five minutes into the movie and you already had three ladies getting nude from the waist and up. So yeah, as I didn't sit down to watch pointless showcasing of naked women, then my interest in "Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon" was fading quickly.

Sure, there were some gore in the movie, but it just was nowhere near enough to make up for the lack of interesting characters or the horrible dialogue that was just gut-wrenching to experience. And the movie also had Asami on the cast list, but still, the movie was just beyond saving.

It should be said that there are actually some enjoyable enough Japanese movies out there in the same genre and caliber as "Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon" was. And that was also one of the reasons why I opted to sit down and watch director Ken'ichi Fujiwara's 2015 movie. But "Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon" was just a swing and a miss.

Don't waste your time, money or effort on this one. My rating of "Iron Girl: Ultimate Weapon" lands on a mere two out of ten stars.