Paul Rudd credited as playing...
Grooberson
- Phoebe: Is this safe?
- Grooberson: No, history is safe, geometry is safe, science is nuclear and hydrogen bombs, science is injecting yourself with the plague and trying to find a cure in time.
- Phoebe: Science is reckless.
- Grooberson: Exactly, it's punk rock.
- Grooberson: [on the earthquakes] I've tried triangulating and I can't figure out where they're coming from.
- Phoebe: Did you use three phones?
- Grooberson: Yeah, I know how many sides are on a triangle.
- Phoebe: I know, I just thought you were being obtuse.
- [winks]
- Grooberson: Was that a geometry joke?
- Phoebe: Yes, hence the wink.
- Grooberson: [laughs] That's bad... no, I like it.
- Phoebe: I found this in my living room.
- [Mr. Grooberson picks up the ghost trap]
- Grooberson: Whoa! Killer replica.
- Phoebe: A replica of what?
- Grooberson: A ghost trap.
- Callie: Let's go. You were supposed to look after her this summer.
- Grooberson: I was?
- Callie: Not you. Him.
- Trevor: This was her idea.
- Phoebe: But what about our stuff? The Ecto-1?
- Sheriff Domingo: Everything will remain nice and safe in our impound locker.
- Phoebe: No! We need it.
- Callie: Phoebe, let's go.
- Phoebe: We caught a ghost tonight.
- Deputy Medjuck: Dirt farmer's family.
- Phoebe: It's true. And there will be more.
- Sheriff Domingo: Hey, kid. You're starting to sound like your lunatic grandfather.
- Grooberson: [Showing them a video of The Ghostbusters going to battle Gozer] None of this rings a bell?
- Phoebe: It happened 20 years before we were born.
- Podcast: Well, I believe it.
- Grooberson: [after testing the trap and unleashing a ghost, which damages the cars] We should probably get out of here.
- Phoebe: You're an adult.
- Grooberson: Yeah, and liable.
- Phoebe: Are you sure this is safe?
- Grooberson: History is safe. Geometry, that's safe. Science is all particle accelerators and hydrogen bombs. Science is giving yourself the plague and gambling on the cure. Science is reckless.
- Phoebe: Science is reckless.
- Grooberson: Totally! Yes! It's punk rock. It's a safety pin through the nipple of academia
- [on Phoebe's lack of social skills]
- Grooberson: [jokingly] Maybe she'll take up pole dancing?
- Callie: She's not that coordinated.
- Grooberson: I don't think that matters.
- Callie: I'm sorry the night went sideways.
- Grooberson: No. I-I- had a blast. Why don't we just pick it up tomorrow night, same time.
- Callie: You really want more of this?
- Grooberson: Are you kidding me? We had kung pao shrimp. We went to jail. I don't know how we're gonna top this. This is a home run.
- Callie: Um, my life is a dumpster fire.
- Grooberson: I love dumpster fires. You should see my apartment.
- Grooberson: [after being a terror dog] I'm bleeding, why am I bleeding?
- Callie: Oh, you headbutted a park bench.
- Grooberson: Okay.
- Grooberson: Somehow, a town that isn't anywhere near a tectonic plate, has no volcanic activity, that has no fault lines, no fracking, no loud music even, is shaking on a daily basis.