Jeffrey Tambor credited as playing...
Georgy Malenkov
- Georgy Malenkov: Nod as I'm speaking to you. People are looking to me for reassurance and I have no idea what's going on.
- Nicolai Bulganin: It's the painting. He's pointing at the painting.
- Georgy Malenkov: Hold on. You know what he's saying? He is saying, "I am the lamb."
- Kaganovich: Huh?
- Georgy Malenkov: "I am the lamb and you, you, my children, have given me life."
- Matryona: Yes!
- Anastas Mikoyan: Or, the lamb is the people and the milk is socialism.
- Georgy Malenkov: Maybe he's the milk.
- Anastas Mikoyan: Maybe you're the tit.
- Georgy Zhukov: Jesus Christ, did Coco Chanel take a shit on your head?
- Georgy Malenkov: No, he did not.
- Vasily Stalin: I want to make a speech at my father's funeral
- Lavrenti Beria: Comrade Malenkov, your view?
- Georgy Malenkov: Well, I think, um... it can be... no problem.
- Nikita Khrushchev: Technically yes, but practically...
- Lavrenti Beria: There are programmatic complications...
- Georgy Malenkov: I think I misspoke when I said "No problem." What I meant was, "No, problem."
- [Everyone in the room looks confused]
- Georgy Malenkov: Ignore me.
- Nikita Khrushchev: What was the name of the - that woman who gave evidence against the doctors?
- Georgy Malenkov: Timashuk.
- Lavrenti Beria: Yes. She's got everything we require for the situation. The location of all the remaining doctors in the Moscow area, a proven desire to survive and a talent for fellatio.
- Anastas Mikoyan: Yeah, right, she gets my vote.
- Nicolai Bulganin: Good. Let her find us some doctors.
- Anastas Mikoyan: Yeah, and if it goes badly, we pin it all on Lady Suck Suck.
- Kaganovich: Then we shoot her.
- Georgy Malenkov: You see? We're better as a committee.
- Nikita Khrushchev: Which doctor have you called?
- Georgy Malenkov: Oh, well...
- Lavrenti Beria: The subject's currently under discussion.
- Georgy Malenkov: As acting General Secretary, I think that, well, the Committee should decide.
- Nikita Khrushchev: The Committee? But our *actual* General Secretary is lying in a puddle of indignity! I think he's saying, "get me a doctor now!"
- Georgy Malenkov: No, I-I don't agree. I think we should wait until we're quorate.
- Nikita Khrushchev: Quorate? The room is only 75% *conscious*!
- Soldier: We found her! She's grown a bit since the photograph...
- Georgy Malenkov: She's the size of an ostrich. No.
- Nikita Khrushchev: He's using you, Georgy! He's using you, and then he's going to kill you! You saw those papers.
- Georgy Malenkov: What are you talking about? Jesus, Nicky, he was pointing at you, he wasn't pointing at me.
- Nikita Khrushchev: No, no, he said...
- [twirls his finger]
- Nikita Khrushchev: "all of you."
- Georgy Malenkov: No, no, I was over there, and he went...
- [twirls his finger]
- Georgy Malenkov: "all of *you*".
- Nikita Khrushchev: Yeah!
- [twirls his finger]
- Nikita Khrushchev: "*All* of you."
- Georgy Malenkov: No, no.
- [twirls his finger]
- Georgy Malenkov: "All of *you*."
- Lazar Kaganovich: No, he said...
- [twirls his finger]
- Lazar Kaganovich: "*all* of you."
- Georgy Malenkov: [twirls his finger] You know, all of you...
- [bends over and points]
- Georgy Malenkov: Can kiss my Russian ass! All of you!
- Lavrenti Beria: Are you wearing a corset?
- Georgy Malenkov: It's a girdle. And I have a bad back. It's functional. It's not cosmetic.
- Lavrenti Beria: You wear it well.
- [Zhukov punches Beria]
- Georgy Zhukov: Want a job done properly, you call the army. Take his belt off. It's hard to run away with your pants falling down.
- Nikita Khrushchev: [to Malenkov] If you want to talk to General Zhukov, now's your opportunity.
- Georgy Zhukov: Spit it out, Georgy. Staging a coup here.
- Georgy Malenkov: ...He's got a knife by his ankle.
- Lavrenti Beria: You're a disgrace!
- Lazar Kaganovich: Give his head a good kicking. Make you feel better.
- Vyacheslav Molotov: All in good time.
- Lavrenti Beria: Oh, I'm gonna enjoy peeling the skin from your self-satisfied face.
- Georgy Zhukov: [holds up the little knife and scoffs] Not with that, you won't.
- Georgy Malenkov: [re: Beria] He deserves a trial, he's one of us!
- Nikita Khrushchev: [fed up with Malenkov's dithering] What about Tukhachevsky and Pyatakov? Did they get a trial? What about Sokolnikov, who begged him to look after his elderly mother? And what did this monster do? He strangled her in front of him! It's too late. The only choice we have is between his death or his revenge. And you will fucking sign this.
- Georgy Malenkov: [reluctantly signs] I want it to go on record, this was not my first course of action.
- Georgy Malenkov: He's irreplaceable. How can we possibly - ? I - we must think of the people. As Acting General Secretary I must step up. I must - I must take his place while he's - on the floor.
- Lavrenti Beria: You just said he's irreplaceable.
- Georgy Malenkov: Irreplaceable - take his place, as in assembling the Central Committee, of course.
- Lavrenti Beria: Good. I was testing you. Get used to that sort of challenge.
- Georgy Malenkov: I'm not gonna do the seating plan. Give it to Blavatsky. He's expert at sitting on his ass.
- Lavrenti Beria: Stalin destroyed the status quo.
- Georgy Malenkov: Yes.
- Lavrenti Beria: And he built a new one.
- Georgy Malenkov: Yes.
- Lavrenti Beria: The changes he made were both radical and popular.
- Georgy Malenkov: Liberalizations would be popular.
- Lavrenti Beria: Radical. Radical.
- Georgy Malenkov: And popular.
- [an NKVD officer appears with a file folder]
- Georgy Malenkov: I will deal with whatever horseshit you have, presently!
- Lavrenti Beria: Actually, I'd like you to see this.
- Georgy Malenkov: [to the officer] Come on through.