Pitchfork

just so you know i love horror movies. i really do,but when you make a movie about a killer that has slim Jim pitch fork fingers for hands. you begin to question the crap your watching as it reminds me of a really bad gwar band that had a bad day off at Sunday camp and created a family accident. this was a cheap and lazy attempt at recreating an 80's like slasher flick. this movie reminds me of some retard on a bike just screaming a bunch of monkey at people, and for some reason has a camera. yes he found this camera and decided it was a cool idea to make a horror movie about an era he knew nothing about. there is no amount of love in this movie.

everything is sloppily done. like everything was either taken in one take or for some reason decided they should cheap monkey it. every person in this film in unrelatable and basically murder trash for the guy with the slim Jim glove. the kills are crap. you know if your gonna make your film look like it was lit like and 80's movie or something out of that era. you sure got everything wrong. the colours, the overdone over done lighting. i mean it looked like i was in a very bad painting by bob Ross. it just didn't have anything. each and every dark or tense scene looked like it was made in broad daylight, and then decided it would be cooler to turn every single thing all the way up and said cool i'm OK with that. oddly enough this movie does look like it was made for 35 cents and the staff were paid in Tim Horton's coffee omg.

i didn't like anyone. you know the moment an actor looks like a Calvin Klein model but sounds like your cousins husband George. you really really really need to stop and think. why am i hear and why is my son almost exactly the same age as me. yes they dyed someones hair to makem look like they were old. each scene was full of stupidity. i give this movie four censored you's and a preztel. this movie also gets the dreadful 0 banana cream pie for being an absolute trite of a film. you clearly know nothing about creep factor. you just took every bad trope from that era, put them in odd spots that don't make sense, then for some blatantly bad lazy idea you decide it's cool to look like we're in a weird part of town that people over act in. you made every scene boring, you made every scene feel cheap and uncaring. yes everything was so over the top, the 80's felt offended.

who lit this movie. sure the concept and movie is fun, but when your advertising yourself as an intensely scary movie, with 80's tropes and ordeals. don't censor it up by not knowing what the hell your doing. man. get the look right. don't get no censored sausage hand finger man after me man. how is that scary? that's like asking me out to dinner and saying i'm the sausage man and need a bun. stop making lazy horror. i know this stuff is cool, but if your going to make horror make it right. don't turn it into a child friendly movie about a man that for some reason decides to kill cuz they came onto his property. god this movie needs to go eat at a Denny's and censor off. god. this is worse then listening to Kenny g playing his clairnet. it's just horrible. i'd rather eat pizza pizza then watch this again.

Right from the get go I hated every character in this movie. The acting was atrocious except from the two actors portraying the parents in the final act. There was no real emotion coming from any character. That whole barn dance scene, cuz you know, every New Yorker knows how to do a perfectly choreographed line dance. Once we get into the killing there was nothing new here. Just your typical death by numbers tropes. Not to mention that we don't even really get to see any of the kills. If your looking for gore, look elsewhere, except for a couple scenes near the end. And even then it's nothing that makes you go "whoa that was brutal". As for the killer himself I have no clue as to why they made him act like some sort of animal. All in all avoid this or you'll want to put a pitchfork in your eyes.

When you look at the trailer for this movie, and see the notation on this page, we are to believe this is a good horror movie. I mean it won seven awards, right? Don't be fooled. Poor writing. Terrible acting.

Buried somewhere in this pile of garbage is an interesting idea, or at least the idea to start a new form of killer. But it is so poorly written, acted, and executed - there is virtually nothing redeeming about it.

We decided to give it a chance, and boy what a waste of time and money.

Terrible. Absolutely cringe worthy.

Avoid at all costs.

Horrible movie. The ideas were taken from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the plot was almost a carbon copy of it, that was very obvious. Some of the dialog used by the actors, especially the young ones was really out of place for a so called horror movie and I found myself rolling my eyes at it. Acting was horrible, no jump scares, no gore. Apart from being a horrible movie with a some what copied plot and horrible acting, the movie had no horror in it at all. I sat through the movie just to see if it could get any worse as it progressed, and believe me, it did not disappoint. This movie really puts the "LOW" in Low Budget. Complete lack of originality in every way. I give it 2 thumbs down just because of lack of more thumbs. 0 star rating here.

Saw this on a dvd. The trailer was good n i was in the mood to check out some slasher film. What a rubbish n awful film this turned out to b. There were sufficient reviews on imdb warning not to see this trash but sometimes u jus dont wanna listen to good advise. The films opening scene was beautifully shot, the farms, the lush greens n those isolated houses. That was one of its good thing from its total two. We get to see a very young girl, a calvin klein model with her dog in the middle of nowhere rural side doing only the director knows what. Later v get to c a group of youngsters who all r visiting the farmhouse of their friend. Lots of hot babes but zero nudity. A sex scene without any nudity, another sex scene without anybody, jus a wagon moving. A small girl knows how to fire a gun, she knows how to tame horses n she can even do psychotherapy with the killer but she is scared of the bogeyman from the closets n under the bed. A benchmark for any good slasher is some good slashings, brutality, nudity, scream queen n a decent killer. All these r missing in this trash film. Forget about the character development, the killings r offscreen n boring, there is absolutely zero suspense n tension. The killer looked like a cartoon. Killing somebody by mistake cos of sudden pop up during hiding or chase scene is been done umpteenth number of times. The ending was kinda meh n one can easily guess. The phrase, out of the frying pan into the fire has been done so many times. The old creepy guys acting n his hand scene were good. This is the second good thing in the film. No explanation of any kind regarding the pitchfork. Mayb i didn't follow cos i forwarded some scenes to finish it.