Tip 'T.I.' Harris credited as playing...
Dave
- Sonny Burch: Okay, hold on, hold on. I like a good story as much as the next person, but what in the hell does this have to do with where Scott Lang is?
- Luis: I'm getting there. I'm getting there.
- Dave: You put a dime in him, and you gotta let the whole song play out.
- Kurt: He like human jukebox.
- Luis: Oh, my abuelita had a jukebox in the restaurant! Yeah, only played Morrissey. And if anybody ever complained, she'd be like "Oh, ¿no te gusta Moz". You know, Chicanos we call him "Moz". "Then, ¡adiós!". What can I say? You know, we relate to this melancholy ballads. You know?
- Luis: So anyway, this guy gets out of jail and starts working for Hank. And that's when he met Hope. And Hope's all like, "I want nothing to do with you. Look at my hairdo. I'm all business." And then Scotty's like, "You know what, girl? My heart's all broken, and I'll probably never find love again. But damn, if I want to kiss you!" But then you fast-forward and they're all like into each other, right? And then Scotty's like, "You know what, I can't tell you this, but I'm gonna go trashing the airport with Captain America!" Then she said, "I can't believe you split like that! Smell you later, dummy!" So Scotty goes on house arrest, and he won't admit it, but his heart's all like, "Damn! I thought Hope could've been my new true partner. But I blew it!" But fate brought them back together, and then Hope's heart is all, "I'm worried that I can't trust him. And he's gonna screw up again and ruin everything." And in my heart, it's all like, "That fancy raspberry filling represents the company's rent. And we're days away from going out of business! Oooh!"
- Kurt: Out of business?
- Dave: Days away?
- Luis: Damn truth serum!
- Luis: Tell me you got the van washed for tomorrow morning.
- Dave: Down to the undercarriage, baby.
- Luis: You sprung for the undercarriage wash?
- Dave: Well, you said get the works.
- Luis: That's a scam, Bro. We live in California, not Minnesota!
- Sonny Burch: He's right. The undercarriage wash. That's for cleaning off road salt. Laid out in all those snow-laden sister states.
- Luis: Who are you and why do you know so much about car wash protocol?