- Alan Thicke: Anybody who said that all men are created equal never saw Lyle Alzado in the shower.
- Johnny Carson: I have no burning desire to see Lyle Alzado in the shower.
- Alan Thicke: Well, I did, and...
- Johnny Carson: Not high on my priorities.
- Alan Thicke: Oh, it's an honor, though... You think Kreskin's amazing.
- Johnny Carson: You get a little desperate when you've been at this for a number of years, when you start saying, "Is there any particular instrument that attracts you?" - you know you're headed for the Twilight Zone.
- Johnny Carson: [doing an intro for Alan Thicke] He's also beginning a feature flim-
- [audience laughs/cheers]
- Johnny Carson: All right, I was reading this week, there's a word for that, when you reverse letters in a word. It's not dyslexia.
- Ed McMahon: It's "screwing up".