- Lois Lane: We're so different. I was just some punk rock kid from Bakerline and you're... Superman.
- Superman: I'm punk rock.
- Lois Lane: [laughing] You are not punk rock.
- Superman: I like the Strangle Fellows, the P.O.D.s, and the Mighty Crabjoys.
- Lois Lane: Those are pop radio bands, they're not punk rock. The Mighty Crabjoys suck.
- Superman: Ah, well, a lot of people love 'em.
- Lois Lane: My point is I question everything and everyone. You trust everyone and think everyone you've ever met is, like... beautiful.
- Superman: Maybe that's the real punk rock.
- Lex Luthor: You piece of shit, alien!
- Superman: That is where you've always been wrong about me, Lex. I am as human as anyone. I love, I-I get scared. I wake up every morning, and despite not knowing what to do, I put one foot in front of the other, and I try to make the best choices that I can. I screw up all the time, but that is being human, and that's my greatest strength. And someday, I hope, for the sake of the world, you understand that it's yours too.
- Lex Luthor: Oh, that's beautiful. But none of this matters, you patronizing clown. The government gave me authority to kill you. If not today, then-
- [gets attacked by Krypto]
- Maxwell Lord: The one thing that liberals and conservatives can finally agree on is that Lex Luthor sucks.
- Superman: You're driven by envy, Luthor.
- Lex Luthor: No shit. I'm aware envy consumes my every waking moment. I know when they mention Galileo or Einstein or one of these other twits in the same breath as me, I feel a tide of vomit burn the back of my throat! But at least Galileo did something. He wasn't some dopey Venusian catapulted onto this planet just to have the world fawn over him! Because his strength illuminates how WEAK we all really are! So, my envy is a calling! It is the sole hope for humanity, because it is what has driven me to annihilating you! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1! A!
- Pa Kent: [to Clark] Parents aren't for tellin' their children who they're supposed to be. We are here to give y'all tools to help you make fools of yourselves all on your own.
- Lois Lane: That haircut should be against your vows!
- Guy Gardner: That what? That what should be what? I'll have you know that there are 348 chicks that say otherwise!
- Guy Gardner: How do you even know Superman, anyway?
- Lois Lane: I... just do.
- Guy Gardner: So, you know about the hypno glasses.
- Hawkgirl: Now she does.
- Guy Gardner: Well, I'm not saying who he is. Just that he wears hypno glasses. They make his face...
- [looks at Mr. Terrific]
- Guy Gardner: How do they work?
- [Looks back at Lois]
- Guy Gardner: They make his face look different in your brain when he wears them so that you don't know who he is.
- Lois Lane: Yes, I know this.
- Guy Gardner: So you know he's Clark Kent.
- Lois Lane: Why does he trust everyone?
- Guy Gardner: He doesn't; just us because we are also of the cloth.
- Lois Lane: Of the cloth?
- [Gardner points at his costume]
- Vasil Ghurkos: I know you won't kill me! You are too delicate and weak... like Superman!
- Hawkgirl: Ha. I'm not like Superman.
- [drops him to his death]
- Lex Luthor: I can't stand the Metahumans, but he's so much worse. Super... 'man'. He's not a man. He's an it. A thing with a cocky grin and a stupid outfit, that's somehow become the focal point of the entire world's conversation. Nothing's felt right since he showed up.
- Lois Lane: You have a flying saucer, but you couldn't get a faster garage door?
- Mr. Terrific: I haven't worked on that yet.
- Gary: Sir?
- Superman: [seeing Fortress of Solitude become a complete mess] What is this? Krypto!
- [Krypto appears and drags Supes's cape by mouth]
- Superman: What the hey, dude? I thought you destroyed the whole...
- [Turns to his robots]
- Superman: Superman robots, I thought I told you to keep an eye on him!
- Gary: We feed the canine, but he is unruly. And he realizes we are not flesh and blood and couldn't, in our heart of hearts, care less whether he lives or dies.
- Lois Lane: That haircut should be against your vows!
- Guy Gardner: That what? That what should be what? I'll have you know, at least 348 chicks say otherwise!
- Hawkgirl: [referring to Metamorpho] Maybe he should join the group!
- Guy Gardner: Ha ha ha! Please. I mean, no offense, but... that creepy mug is what you want representing The Justice Gang?
- Metamorpho: Justice Gang? That's a cool name!
- Guy Gardner: You're in.
- Sydney Happersen: Mr. Terrific, I can help close the rift!
- Mr. Terrific: I don't need your help. I'm goddamn Mr. Terrific.
- Gary: [a drunken Kara Zor-El crashes into the Fortress of Solitude] Sir, I think your cousin has returned.
- Kara Zor-El: What the hell, dude? Why did you move the door?
- Superman: I didn't move the door.
- Kara Zor-El: And where is my dog?
- Superman: [Krypto flies and pounces Kara as she laughs] Okay, well this is why he has behavioral issues.
- Superman: [as the Justice Gang brutally fight the kaiju] Good gosh, there's gotta be a better way to do this!