Jason Drucker credited as playing...
Greg Heffley
- Manny Heffley: I'm texting.
- Susan Heffley: Oh, no. No devices on this trip.
- Greg: What do you mean?
- Susan Heffley: This is an unplugged road trip. No phones. No iPads. No internet.
- Rodrick Heffley: What?
- Susan Heffley: Just family time. The only connecting we're gonna do is with each other. Everyone, hand over your devices.
- Greg: You tricked us!
- Greg: This is totally not cool.
- Greg: Kids at school get way more screen time than I do!
- Rodrick Heffley: I'm not giving up my phone.
- Greg: Yeah! If he's not givin' up his phone, I'm not givin' up mine.
- Rodrick Heffley: If he's not giving up, I'm not giving up. Who do you think you are bossing us around?
- Greg: You want me to read. I'm reading text! What's the difference?
- [first lines]
- Greg: Do we have to come to Corny's? This place is for babies.
- Rodrick Heffley: Then you fit right in, Greggy.
- Susan Heffley: It's not a place for babies, it's a place for family-style dining. Right, Frank?
- Frank Heffley: That's right. And the buffet's all-you-can-eat, so take advantage.
- Rowley: Thanks for inviting me, Mr. and Mrs. Heffley. I hear the ball pit is super deep!
- Greg: Without devices, there's absolutely nothing to do.
- Susan Heffley: Look at the scenery. Read a book.
- Greg: Read a book? It's summer vacation!
- Greg: You embarrassed me in front of everyone, Mom. Now I'm gonna be known as Diaper Hands forever! It'll blow over.
- Susan Heffley: You know what won't? You lying to me. I just wanted to have a nice family trip where we all spent time together. But you don't care about that.
- Greg: Well, you don't care about the things I love, either! If you did, I wouldn't have had to sneak away to get to this place!
- Susan Heffley: I give up. Take my phone. Play games. Enjoy yourself. I'm done fighting.